R.O.F.L. (Reach Out For Love)

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You're listening to locally produced programming created in KUNV Studios on Public Radio. KUNV 91.5.

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What's up everybody? Welcome to ROFL! The show about motivation and being yourself. That's right, what does ROFL? Reach out for love. The show about motivation and love. Being yourself. How do you be yourself?

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Let's find out.

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What's up, Wesley? What's going on, Bosma?

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Consistency. Consistency in everything.

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It's like the self-control of it all is kind of like a little bit lost.

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It's kind of what happens.

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That is why I think after COVID and we had all this online courses and stuff like that.

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You're going to have to tell me about that because I graduated in 2017. So I've I missed I missed schooling in COVID by a few years. So please enlighten me.

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The thing is my I had a job that was online when I found out that I could work from home sometimes. I was like what this thing this is a thing? Yeah, people do this. Yeah, I was so like starstruck by it. I was like, this is awesome. Why don't we do this before?

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The thing is, is it was always possible, well not always, but it had been possible for years before it became a necessity. Right, right, exactly. And no one knew about it. So you're like, what, why didn't I know about this? So few companies, so few companies and jobs did it unless they were smaller scale. And it just has to do with it just has to do with control. I was going to say like I was trying to think of like a nicer way to say it. But yeah, like basically there's no nice way. There's no nice way to describe the way that the machine like beats us down. So right.

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And on top of that your environment actually does impact your consistency a lot.

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Totally.

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When I'm at home, there's people yelling screaming and everything. But what I was trying to say is after COVID and I realized that you could do things from home, I was like, wait, I have a phone with internet that I could do like wifi capabilities. So I could just go to a coffee shop or like anywhere. The fact that I didn't know.

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If you have like wifi access, yeah.

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Yeah, exactly, anywhere, like a Starbucks or something. But the fact that I didn't know that you could do, you can take your job or your school anywhere else except for that area. Because like sometimes for me, I feel like at school, I feel like I'm pressured. If I'm doing a journalism paper, definitely I want to be at school because then I can talk to my friend, hey Billy, hey, get over here dude. Or just study groups.

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I just knew that I would be distracted at home as well because like when I'm at home, I want to just be at home. You know what I mean? I don't want to be at home and then have to be in work mode if I can help it. I narrowly avoided having to do work from home for a call center. I worked at a call center that was just customer service outsourcing. And then shout out to anyone who worked in the call center with me during those couple years that we were there. I always talked about it when I make it on radio that I shout everyone out. So I ended up going from like a job that would have forced me to work from home sometimes depending on like the day of the week or more specifically like your time shift every day from, I think the earliest people started shifts there was 5 a.m. and everyone was done. I think the latest someone was there was like midnight, maybe 1 a.m. Because doing stuff with being like basically 24-7 with real estate properties and the way the whole thing was run was based off time zones. So we might be on the West Coast, but we're serving things across every US time zone that there is. So, yeah.

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I find the rules associated with how long you can stay at work and how long you have to be there a little bit like over the top.

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Wait till I tell you this, I got screwed into working 10 a.m. to 9 p.m.

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That's literally, that was my schedule. But mine was even sooner than that. I started at 6 in the morning and ended up leaving at like 9 p.m. I was just like, why am I here for so long?

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Yeah, no, it really like, I will never... Like that's when you know you have a bad job. Yeah, it was all I could do to have a job at the time because of the job. Because of the job I left previously I need something quick so to you know keep bills paid so you know call centers like that are like practically always hiring always hiring

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always firing you know what's funny oh sorry oh you're good I don't want to cut you off no you're fine I was just about to say like I actually got in trouble for staying late one time really and it was at the job that told me to stay late. Like, oh, you were here too long.

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I one time.

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I'm overachieving.

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Yeah, I know.

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How are you gonna punch me? I'm overachieving. I'm literally doing my job better. At the call center I worked at, we, the performance was based on occurrences. So if you got so many occurrences, they had it written in their, in their, in their SOP and their operating procedures that like by their book and by their employment position.

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And rules and regulations.

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And rules and regulations. It was like, if you get so many occurrences and so many points, then we can just fire you and that's it, and like whatever. But like everything.

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They get so they fire you.

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But like everything counted against you. Like they had such a strict like SOP when it came to being on the phones. It got to the point that even if you went through every single like fail safe they taught you with customers and you still didn't like achieve what they wanted. There's always something that they'll find. Yeah. Especially if they don't like you. That's another thing. They wanted us to basically be able to strong arm everyone that ever came in contact with us into doing what the company wanted. Right. Unrealistic expectations. Yeah. So it became like having to control literally uncontrollable variables. Like I can have, I will literally have five backup plans, but if those five backup plans don't happen to work out in our favor, even though I did everything that I was told to do, every fail safe I was told to try, I could have checked every single box but done the one thing accomplished that they wanted. And I would still get dinged by what was it called, QA, quality assurance. Because people would just randomly listen in on the calls and we wouldn't know, but we would certainly hear about it if something got messed up.

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Right, you know this is so funny because this is like unrelated to work. One time I went to an acting school, I know this is completely random, I went to the acting school and then they had all these rules. They were like, you gotta read this book. You gotta follow these rules. You gotta get here, over here, like eight hours a week. Are you putting eight hours in? I was like, I didn't have a job at the time. So I went to the school and I basically did everything they said and way more. And they started getting like, well, you're using too many hours. You're doing too much. I was like, they couldn't find anything wrong with what I was doing with my acting schedule and then they were like, oh we think we're gonna have to get rid of you now. Just because. Just for no reason. And I'm just like, what do you mean? They're like, your learning style is

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just different than what... I'm following all your rules. I'm literally telling you like, hey we think you're neurodivergent and we just don't have a place for neurodivergence. Why are you actually following our rules? Get out of here. Because you're getting to the point of not only are you like clearly like excelling and like going above and beyond of what they're asking but like at some point you're probably improving on things that they have told everyone to do and that probably upset them. Especially at that place because they

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would literally call everyone out on everything little and then when I would go up on stage the teacher would just be like all right this is good and then

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he'll like find something random. It was almost required that he nitpick.

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Right, right.

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I mean I learned eventually that that school was actually not a good acting school.

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I wouldn't have guessed. Wow, really?

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What?

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What? But this also circles back to expectations that we put on ourselves.

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I think something when it comes to expectations of ourselves and but like mostly others is people get in this mindset of thinking that because something works for them that it's universal.

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That it's going to work for everybody, yes!

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And it's, and like I understand like where they're coming from in

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In a rule structure way.

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Yeah, and so in so far as like some general things do apply to like 99% of people but like the fact that they do it with like my way or the highway mentality, or they do it where it's like you, it's like such a rigid, like you have to, like it's an or else situation. It's like you don't realize how much life and like vitality and creativity and what have you, like you end up sucking out of people. You're like sucking the soul out of people. Like literally that, that call center job brought me to my lowest, darkest place, literally ruined my mental health, I'm not gonna lie.

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I questioned what my life purpose was, like almost every day. I was just like, what am I doing? You passed butter, oh my God. Am I following my life purpose or am I going against my life purpose right now? So I would have to spend a lot of time just really constantly, I had a friend in there actually that helped me mentally. Helped me mentally, like stay sane.

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That's what happened at the call center too. We all kind of became, we formed a lot of camaraderie around the fact that the job sucked and that we all knew that we were being exploited, but we also knew that the way that they scheduled and the way that they treated the employees and the way especially they expected the managers or the team leaders to treat the employees super shady. So I actually made friends with quite a few of the team leads and the managers.

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And they were-

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What you're saying about the managers,

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that's very true by the way.

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And they were literally the only-

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They are told to do that.

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Yeah, and they were literally the only protection between us and the seats and the, for lack of a better term, the corporate overlords. Like there were multiple, multiple, multiple times, like, when I was getting out, about I could do everything that they told me to do to, like, mitigate problems, and it still just not work because you ultimately cannot 100% control the human element that it came down to. Like, if it wasn't for these team leads who, like, saw my effort and saw the...

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Then you would just be like, that's a liar.

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I would have been fired a million times. Right, right. Oh, yeah. Oh, my gosh.

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I've been treated horribly at that job.

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I have to tell you. Okay, so I was working at a job once.

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Don't tell me, tell the listener.

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Oh my God, I'm going to tell you guys. Okay, so I was working at a job once and this guy literally got hired as my manager. Just me.

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Hired on as a manager?

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Yeah, just for me specifically. They were like, just for Bodma. I was like, wait, what? Everybody was like, who?

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You know how in school, sometimes they would know, like, oh, that's a special ed kid, and he would have his own, like a teacher. No, what are you trying to say? I think I cracked something. You did, but that's even funnier. You know, they'd have the special ed kid, and then they'd have a class, like a second teacher to help those special ed kids.

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No, this is what they did to me, dude. So they bring this guy, he's my new manager, okay? And then they tell him, go and ask her all of the things that she sucks at. What? And then come back here and tell us.

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What does that mean?

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I found this out after.

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That sounds illegal, I don't know why, but that sounds super illegal.

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They were like, go tell us what she's not good at in this job.

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And so he comes to me. They hired him to be a narc on you?

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Yeah, basically.

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Wow.

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I was like, what is happening? They got

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narc money but they don't have living wage money? What? They have narc money. That's a good one. I hate capitalism so much. Oh no, here we go again. I will take every opportunity ever to rag on capitalism but if that is not its own, if that is not a definition. Even if it's not, I'm just gonna. If that is not the definition of the snake eating its own tail, like, wow. I found out afterwards, like, he felt terrible after he found out, like, like the same thing happened one time actually so well similar. So that job that I went to in health care that I left the call center for I started literally like the first week of March in 2020. It was the day that the building themselves decided, hey, we're going to like hard lockdown. This is a medical shoe. This is a live in. This is a live in medical

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Oh, is this when you went into healthcare?

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Yeah.

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Okay, okay. I don't know if the term geriatric is offensive, but I feel like it is in some senses. But it's basically, hey, are you an old person in need of 24-7 medical care and physical rehab care, so on and so forth? Like, this is the place for you. And it was five minutes away from my house so it's like cool I can just walk to work. Yeah, convenience. Now I took a pay cut doing that which I did. No way! Yeah, I had to because of the occurrences because of whatever they had this thing where if you got too many like dings on your on your QA on your quality assurance like the big brother listening in on your calls and making sure you did everything right, they put you on what they call a PIP, a Performance Improvement Plan.

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Oh my gosh.

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Which again, because if you need, why do you need the improvement plan? You don't. Or am I doing anything that can actually be fixed? No, you just cannot control the human variable. Okay, well that's literally impossible.

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I know you don't like that stuff specifically because you don't like the five year plan thing. And a PIP actually forces you to do that.

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The problem with the PIP was not that, it was not like my performance couldn't be improved. It was literally like the context and the evidence against me was literally stuff that I could not control. So with the PIP, I was on that. And that's pretty much like, it's clearly in the writing of the company statement, like, pretty much, this is the chopping block, you know, that kind of thing.

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Yeah, which they don't really give you an option.

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No. And when I got on it and I was served it, and I was told, like, there is no other option here. And I pointed out, I was like, this is hypocritical. Like, you're literally punishing me for things like I know one can't control.

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Or, or you did it right. And they just don't want you. That's what I was talking about earlier. If they don't like you.

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Right. And so like the team leads, the team leads were like, we're so sorry, but like, look, nobody on my team has ever gotten a pip and not been okay. So like, I'm gonna make sure you're safe. So while I'm on the pip because I'm on the pip because I'm a bad employee, right? Like by their metrics, I'm not doing, I'm not performing. Right. Tell me how I got an award. He put quotes in there. I did. Tell me how I also got an award for excellent customer service at the same time.

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Relatable.

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Yeah.

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100% relatable. So we went to, we had, we would randomly like once a month have these like, they call them

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wow awards, like recognizing like, oh my gosh, you're like so great. Well you're amazing, but anyways, here's a pip.

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Yeah, yeah, you're so great at that, you closed that deal so well, that you're still going to get fired.

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No, or you know what? The thing is, like, sometimes they scare you with the pip, but they just give you the pip so they don't have to give you a raise that year.

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Because the company- Yeah, I never got a raise while I was there, and I worked there for like two years, two

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and a half years. Sometimes they genuinely, sometimes they genuinely just do that, and then like, obviously everyone's gonna get hurt because they're getting that.

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Yeah, no, I was, I was a great worker and about to get fired in the same breath, and I was like, great. So when they had the little, like, the little dinky ceremony of like, all of us in like, the break room being like, yeah, so they got this and they get this and they're your Ohio earner, and they handed it to me and they like, give me a microphone, which is dangerous. And I was like, and because I didn't care at that point, they put me in this position, they gave me the pip, they gave me the award. Now I'm asking them to answer for for this. Answer me. Yeah, like, give me like, for real, this answer me yeah like i need answers like for real it's like no now you guys are on track you guys gave me a live microphone you guys gave me a live microphone

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no i'm actually that's so funny i was i had no chill about it

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i could just imagine you like sending them an email why am i getting this pip and then they don't answer you all right wesley come over here we're gonna give you an award i was on the pip and then i got the award so i was like cool does the award cancel out the pip or does it or does this prove? This is prove that because I was able to to take a negative to a positive That you also that they also in the same breath recognize that we cannot 100% Like control the like every like human variable ever

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I want you on my team if I have a team. Heated thinking about it now. The only thing I ever did was like, I never had the guts to like straight up confront the person and be like this, but like I always had the guts apparently to write them a very strongly worded letter. Strongly worded letter.

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Like I couldn't not.

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To whom it may concern, colon.

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Yeah, I had to, I had to do that.

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I was like, there's no way I'm leaving this place unless I tell you.

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So I was, I was, I was making it a point not to mention the company or anyone in the company for their discretions against common workplace decency and etiquette. You've got to be very calculating about just how, how much of your naturally like helpful and selfless nature nature comes out to a lot of these companies because they will see that you require such little reward to do so much work.

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That's another thing, the amount of work I was doing to be unappreciated made me question every single day. I could be doing this for myself and on top of that I could be starting my own business. I could be doing my own Entrepreneurship and getting paid and recognizing myself. All right. No, it doesn't matter like you like you like learn

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because that you clearly they're worth their their worth like to you that they show is like clearly so shallow that eventually it bites them and it bites them in the foot because Then they don't have you anymore. Yeah, because then you recognize your own self-worth because you realize your cup is not being filled. Right. And you're just like, I can just do this for myself and feel better.

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Way better. Yeah. And then on top of that, I'll be going towards my purpose, going towards my dreams.

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Yeah, whatever it is.

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That's another thing, though. That thing helped me be more consistent, realizing that's actually why when I'm at school, I'm investing in me. When I'm doing work outside of school or outside of work, that's for me. So the thing is, I put in my head, if I'm able to wake up early in the morning and go to work for eight hours straight, why am I not able to do that for myself every single day? That's what got me to be more consistent over time. In the past I used to be more of a procrastinator. I would just do it because I thought there was an incentive, but why don't I just imagine there's an incentive 24-7? Like the

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incentive is the feeling of satisfaction. The incentive ultimately, if one does not exist, it kind of it behooves one to kind of have that motivation be like a self out of self-care, out of self-love, like out of just like...

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And you feel good too.

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Yeah, just completely out of self, like almost like, I mean, I don't know if it fits, fits, but like it's almost like hedonistic in a certain way. You're like, I'm going for

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the satisfaction. I'm going for the happiness. I'm going for the... I mean, that's the goal, isn't it?

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I'm going for the pleasure.

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The whole goal of life is finding your true happiness and trying to find your purpose and what makes you feel comfortable and happy at the same time. There's some people who work on something and then they like a lot more breaks because that makes them feel more comfortable which is fine. Just take the breaks. Yeah sometimes you just need the breaks too. Yeah but sometimes you're not allowed the breaks. That's unfortunate. Yeah and then you just feel like doo-doo afterwards. Is that allowed on the radio?

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Yeah you can say that. I'm pretty sure you can say a six a six-year-old insult on the radio When you're in situations like that like in companies or in jobs that almost expect you to be grateful That they give you the opportunity to even be exploited in the first place. It's just that comes back to capitalism She's coming around ladies and gentlemen. I have a book by Chris grass You can borrow if you want to talk about a feminist praxis and collective organizing.

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I think, honestly, if you need help being more consistent, I think finding a job that you hate is a good motivator, at least for me.

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I'm curious where you're going with this.

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Because you realize all the effort and time and work you're putting into that job that you hate, okay, I'm sorry to use the word H-A-T-E. Oh no, how dare you, we're only adults. You do not like, dislike, strongly dislike. I was told the word hate is just too strong or something. I don't know. But like, but like the job you strongly dislike, right? You're finding yourself working so long, so many hours, so much work and then not getting recognized or getting like apparently in trouble for doing your Or just in general being people are just mean you know what I mean, or they just Many people are just on not understanding

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Okay

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So think about your situation and think about how you have to push yourself in those situations in those jobs that you disliked And try to think to yourself Okay How do I incorporate this into my life so that I can use this for my own? Goals my own schedule my own like I obviously leave the job. I'm not telling you guys to stay there. I'm just saying, like, if you guys are at a job you dislike and you're seeing how much effort you're able to put in, because that's what happened with me. I was, I found out how much effort I actually had

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and I was like, wow, I could do it.

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You, like, discovered your self-worth.

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Yeah, I could see, I was like, dang, I could do a lot of stuff. This is cool. I didn't even know this was humanely possible.

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Like, this isn't even my final form.

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I had low expectations for myself.

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Thanks, dude.

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We want you to do better. Oh, I will, leaves.

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And then so when I left, I found that I can make my own schedule. I can make a whole planner and be like, oh, I'm able to do this and I know I'm able to do this because I did this for years at this other job for someone who didn't even appreciate me. I appreciate myself. Pat myself on the back. I did that. Yeah, that's right So that's that's that helped me with consistency. What helped you over time with consistency? Um spite, okay

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Nothing, it's work done faster than spite No Consistency was already like I'm trying to think back to like jobs I had consistency was kind of baked into the jobs I had because they were just like labor jobs. You know, working at a movie theater is the same thing every day. Nothing really changes. Working at the call center is like, here's the expectations, you know, here's where all the BS is. It's like, cool, I know how to like, I know how to manage it and live with it to a certain extent until I didn't want to live and then that was a problem. Because, well, we talked about it before, how much I hate toxic positivity. Yeah, so it's like no. Yeah, right I'm not gonna pretend that I'm okay It just it just kind of helps what helps me the consistency is kind of like remembering that whatever job I'm here to do I Still like my worth and my value and like my life does not only exist Yes, what on my paid hours right in my workplace like whatever.

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You're doing what you need to do to survive.

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Right, right. And that helps with consistency because sometimes, sometimes when you're having a, like if I'm having a bad day, then what helps is like knowing that I'm going to get through it. I'm going to go home. I'm going to enjoy myself when I'm at home. I'm going to recharge. I'm going to rest. I'm going to do whatever I want to.

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That's not here.

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It's like good motivation.

0:25:37
Yeah. motivation yeah yeah consistency in terms of like sheer job performance is there's no different than like when you've gotten any assignment ever in school and you just read the directions right be amazed how many and you saw it over the years I'm sure how many people will do themselves a disservice and cause themselves any amount of a headache with their work simply because they didn't bother to read the directions at the top of the paper.

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Yeah, and you learn that growing up. You're like, these directions and rules are actually super important into making my mind rest in so many ways.

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Yeah, yeah. It's like if you get, it's almost like if you read the information that you need to succeed, that you'll have a better chance of doing it.

0:26:34
That's the key to organization, by the way. I remember there was a dude when I was in college, he used to tell me, I figured out the solution to organizing, and when you figure it out one day when you're my age, you will understand.

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Your reaction, first your reaction was, okay, boomer, and the second reaction.

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No, no, my friend, he wouldn't tell me, so I had to figure it out.

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I'm sorry, my brain went to... I used to be a wimp, and then I got anchor arms, and now I'm a jerk and everybody loves

0:27:03
me.

0:27:04
This man just sold you a product off Spongebob, you know, it's that simple.

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I love Spongebob.

0:27:09
Come to Karate Island, it's just timeshares.

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Oh, that's what we should talk about next time.

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We should talk about-

0:27:14
SpongeBob?

0:27:14
No, yes, yes, but no.

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Why they make us happy?

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Like, things that make us happy and how to find that happy place, in a place where you're not really happy. Like, that's extremely important because if I didn't have my friend in my last jobs, like, I would not be, like, I was gonna leave. I would not have even sat there and stayed there.

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Oh, yeah. No, the best part of any job ever, especially when you're just in service jobs or in run-of-the-mill jobs, is the friends and the coworkers. My ex-girlfriend worked at a cap shoot call for a while. She worked there for a year or two, and in that time, got a two-cent raise. Dude, that's what I'm talking about. Like what even is this? And a blanket. He gave her a blanket.

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Dang. I guess it was a comfy blanket. Here's a blanket. It's a pizza blanket.

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It wasn't even cool. It was just like a plain black gray blanket.

0:28:14
Yeah, you're kind of right. Why am I upgrading this story?

0:28:17
A pizza blanket. Pizza blanket time. Everything in corporate America is pizza themed. It motivates the people.

0:28:31
Pizza is pretty good, but I heard it's just because cheese is addictive or something.

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Exactly.

0:28:36
Yeah, I just love it. People love cheese.

0:28:39
Well, I guess next time, then, what we should do is we should talk about things that give us dopamine in the workplace when we are being in a miserable situation or just in general when we're working on things like our consistent schedule and being consistent because like you can't just be unhappy working on something and be consistent at the same time I mean or I guess you can but you you have to push yourself a lot yeah a lot of a lot of successful people say you need to be consistent in things that you dislike doing just like sometimes just yeah get get yourself into the habit because it takes 30 days or something to build a habit.

0:29:16
I've heard 30 or 40. 30 or 40 days. Yeah. Yeah. Which is crazy to think because I've said this before, but I'm so bad at making good habits and so good at making bad habits.

0:29:27
No, I mean, I feel the opposite.

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Oh, good for you.

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I hate you, Bob.

0:29:32
This is why you lead the show. You're full of all this self-motivation and this optimism and I also have some optimism, but I'm also

0:29:42
He's actually extremely optimistic more than he knows apparently yeah, she all right so full full disclosure

0:29:47
Bosman came in a little bit late to record this and she was coming in like Saying sorry a million times and thinking that I was like, oh, I thought you're just gonna leave He was like I would have left like you must be so annoyed with me and I was just like no.

0:30:04
Right, right.

0:30:05
You expect you expect me to be upset with you all the time and I'm like never upset.

0:30:11
I just like I get I just expect people to just get upset with me.

0:30:14
We can talk about that too next time.

0:30:15
It's just because that's just because they've got emotions only because they got a manager to manage you at the job.

0:30:22
I don't know what to expect anymore.

0:30:26
It only had to happen once. Now everyone that I vaguely and barely inconvenienced is now going to narc on me.

0:30:33
I can't trust anybody.

0:30:34
What is this?

0:30:35
Everyone is out to get me.

0:30:36
Now I know.

0:30:37
Oh my God, I'm learning more about myself and my life and why I think this way.

0:30:43
I'm just joking.

0:30:44
Oh no.

0:30:45
Self-awareness. I'm just kidding.

0:30:47
Oh, that's a great one. Yeah, so we'll talk about self-awareness, love, not love, what the heck.

0:30:52
We love ourselves.

0:30:53
Yeah, we'll love yourself and things you love to do, things that give you dopamine, how to enjoy things that are very mundane and just not fun to do in your consistent schedule.

0:31:03
Step one, get a job you actually enjoy doing.

0:31:05
No, find a job you hate so that you can learn about yourself and how much you can handle.

0:31:13
Then get a job you love. Harness your hate and use it. Yeah. What's the what's the bit I'm so sorry what's the bit from Star Wars? He's like, he's like let the hate flow through you. Now I get it. Thank you. I understand. Weaponize your apathy. I love it. Organize and organize, manage, and weaponize your apathy against the things that drain you of of your for lack of a better term, will to live.

0:31:38
And that's actually the secret right there. Don't let what people say upset you enough for you to not want to do what you want. Motivate yourself basically.

0:31:45
Yeah.

0:31:46
Which is really easy to do when you actually find a way to enjoy the things you hate. That's why I always actually...

0:31:52
How do you do that? How do you enjoy something you hate?

0:31:54
I mean, well that's what we're going to talk about next time.

0:31:56
Oh, leave me on a cliffhanger.

0:31:58
Thanks so much guys for watching. Thank you Wesley for being on the show. Always good. We love having you and I'll see you guys next time.

0:32:05
Peace.

0:32:06
Thanks for watching ROFL, reaching out for love. If you want to check us out, please go to bossmatique at Instagram. If you want to check us out, please go to bossmatique at Instagram.

0:32:13
See you guys later.

Transcribed with Cockatoo