R.O.F.L. (Reach Out For Love)

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You're listening to locally produced programming created in KUNV studios on public radio KUNV 91.5 What's up everybody welcome to ROFL

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The show about motivation and love. Being yourself. How do you be yourself? Let's find out.

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What's up guys? How you guys doing today? What's going on?

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Hope you guys had some great midterms out there. Hope you had fun taking tests that determine your grade point average.

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basically. I never understood that honestly. Everything hinges on like a single test. I never went on like what was it like my UNLV and was like oh yeah my teacher finally put in my grades. I was always weird to me you know. Because you're going to see it later right? I never looked at my grades. I never looked at my grades until I was like cool give me a final transcript. I one time had a teacher in middle school straight up called me a traitor for leaving their class but she was mean that's why I left. For real like what happened was so it's nothing I've probed nothing but I'm just gonna tell a little bit of a story so like sixth grade science class I had this teacher I'm not gonna say her name it doesn't matter like for the first half the year had her class. She'll be listening to this anyway. Yeah I don't care if she does I don't like her. She'll be like what how dare you not mention me by name when I'm so upset.

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I've been thinking about this for years.

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I never forgot about this. What happened was, it was one of those things where you're guilty by association, so I was sitting next to this kid the whole semester, because she did the whole assigned seating thing on her, and I sat next to this kid who I was kind of friends with, but not really. It was more so just familiarity than actually wanting to be their friend, unfortunately. And she didn't like him, and he was kind of a goofus. And I was never a bad student, but I, especially, you know, sixth grade, being like 11, 12 years old and stuff, like, you know, easily susceptible to like classroom hijinks and stuff. So she kind of grew to not like me just because I sat by him and she didn't enjoy the, like, this, the, not the goofing off, because we did our assignments, but she just, something had, something had an issue with that. I don't know why and it got to a point where I could tell that her attitude towards me was actually affecting how she was creating my stuff. Oh my God and like and I'm in like sixth grade and it's like what the heck what yeah, I'm like in sixth grade. Like why are you taking your job this serious? I mean, I know that I know that great. I mean, yeah, I mean, I seriously I know that I know that like the Boulder City schools for as good as they can be and are for the teachers that actually care is kind of seen as an elephant graveyard of sorts.

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Right.

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Right.

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CCSD, which is like, whatever. Yeah, it is what it is. But like, I don't like that you're usually a really good student and I was like not doing well in the class even though I was like trying yeah yeah and so we struck a deal where I changed my science class from her to a different teacher okay so I went from like the not like the advanced but like the one step above like regular class science class to just the normal science class with a different teacher.

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And you did a lot better.

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I did a lot better. He was a lot better of a teacher. Not a good person.

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There's some bad teachers just as much as there are good. I've actually heard some stories of some teachers around that topic. I'm like in my head, everyone's like, what are they talking about? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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Just like for the listeners who are like, what are you talking about? Just assume what you would, the stereotype of what you think like a bad teacher who like shouldn't be teaching and is in trouble.

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Right, right.

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Yeah. Just let, unfortunately let the worst that you can imagine run free and you're probably

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right. I remember, I remember when I was in middle school, I had this teacher, I had to go to surgery to get my appendix taken out and stuff. Oh wow. And I was like in the hospital and I didn't turn in my assignment and she didn't take it when I came back and I was just like.

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For a medical emergency?

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Yeah, and I was like.

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We have three days for every missed day

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Principal was also there and she was on the teacher side So I guess like I'm like thinking about I was like, what did I do?

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It's just a ganging up on you like there

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I was like, oh

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I just wanted to give you this proof of me being hospitalized and then like the principal was there and she's taking a picture Just like I was so confused of the kid, but I like hated that school So I like got my mom to take me out of there, too. And then I had a 2 point something GPA in that school, and then when I moved to the next school I got a 3.7.

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Yeah, sometimes the environment really makes a difference.

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And it was a college program for high school students. So I went from normal high school hating my life to going to the college one. And the college one I felt was nicer, and that they loved me there. It was just like, yeah, the environment does.

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Better environment, I feel that.

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Doesn't make a big difference.

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This is true. And going back to what you're saying about, the teacher themselves makes a difference on top of whatever workload I'm already taking on. That first semester where I was brand new to college, getting used to how things were different, and also in my mind, being low-key terrified of losing. It's funny in retrospect, because now I'm working six days a week and I'm like just doing it and it's kind of like just is what it is. But I remember being brand new to college and knowing it's like the workload's different and like it's not serious, but like it takes, it's more, yeah, it's like more, it's more responsibility in any ways, you know? And I was just terrified of just like, I don't want to like lose all my free time having to do school because I know that there's I know I know that there are some professors who really like they really act like only their classes what we're taking yeah I have a class like that yeah it's like this is the only class that you're taking this is the only work that matters like they expect they expect you to like in in one way shape or form like mold your life around their class and their assignments. That's not feasible.

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But you know what I like about school is that even when you have two bad weeks straight in a row, there's always a makeup assignment or something you can do to make it better.

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I always forget about those. I never had to do those really.

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Yeah, well me, I always, because I always go through some drama in my life.

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Oh really, like what?

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I'm not gonna.

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She was talking to me about stuff before we went live here.

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Yeah, because like, I'll tell you guys, like recently I had three people just out of the blue drop me out of their life after I got like sick for a week. I think I mentioned that like last week that I got sick like really bad. And it was like a whole week of just me feeling horrible. And obviously when someone's sick, they're not going to feel their best. So maybe I was like, I was like, like, I'm useless basically when I'm sick. So like three people just straight up went and dropped me out of their life. And these are people I've been friends with for six years. And

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I'm taking a huge course load. You're just feeling the weight of everything all at once.

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Yeah, everything at once. And then like, and I'm crying hella hard. But then I, but then someone said to me, like, I don't know why this motivates me. But like, I remember talking about it last, last broadcast. Okay. Someone was like, yeah, oh hell no

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Self-care is not is not selfish, but you're just like this is a challenge. This is a fight. Yeah

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Not more important than my goals Like right before that like right before getting the things that give us motivation

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Do you remember? Do you remember the Amanda show in? At some point in the show, they had this recurring, um, secondary, like a show within a show thing that was a parody of like the overdramatic, like MTV dramas called Moody's point. And her name is Moody. And it's like, Ooh, everything is drama and every little thing is just like melodramatic. And there was a friend of hers whose reaction to literally everything possible was a very exasperated, what is that supposed to mean? And like, she runs away. Is that how you see me, Wesley?

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No, I don't see you that way.

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It's just like, the way you said it just made me think.

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Yeah, I mean, like, yeah, I'm one of those people though. I really do, like, what is that supposed to mean?

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It's like everything you say.

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You take everything just a little too personal by mistake.

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Yeah, like, one time I was just out with a friend and I was telling them a story and then they just made a comment like like okay I'll tell you okay. I was not feeling well. I was that I like a concert

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So this is a recurring every time you feel sick. You just like you get snippy. Yeah, I think you're right That's very you look chippy. It's okay

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I was at a concert and like all of a sudden my blood sugar is like drops like And so like I'm looking for my sister because she has my phone and my wallet.

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I thought you were going to say my EpiPen or something.

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No, no, no. I'm looking for my sister and I can't find her because it's a huge concert and they won't give me water because they don't have tap water. They only have bottled water. They want you to pay for it. Yeah, and so I was like, do you guys have little sugar packets or something to make me feel better? And they were like, no. They didn't have water or sugar packets, so I went and I sat down and I'm like getting hot and I'm like, I don't know, I'm like hyperventilating in my dress and then this random worker came by and he's like, are you okay? Blah blah blah. Anyways, I told my friends this story and I told them how like the workers kept like watching me until I like felt better and they finally brought me water by the way.

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Okay, good. I was like, I think you're literally going to wait for you to pass out before they help

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you.

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Right. Horrible. This dude, like this dude, one of my friends' boyfriends said to me, How do you even survive alone? I was just like, ow!

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That's kind of mean though, like, how do you even survive alone?

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Yeah, and that was like, the day after that happened, and I was already going through like, the three friends that dropped me. I was just like, yeah, how do I survive? You're like, I am alone, you're right. And then like, my friend called me, like, one of my friends called me to check on me, and then I was like and then he said how do you survive a

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lot it's like it's what I'm thinking it's all here except they're not I just want to say something every time I cry I literally laugh about it so hard later

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like actually I just cried recently like two days ago you like find you're

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crying to be funny in retrospect yeah what do you say no it's like anchorman just where he gets on the phone the bad man punted Baxter I'm in a glass case of

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emotion I don't know why I was like just think about it later and like yes the

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it's comedic out of context like like very very like animated crying is hysterical but only after like the dust yeah it's never like it's like laughing at someone going through something is horrible horrible horrible but like if they have a sense of humor about it afterwards that it's cool to like

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So like laugh a little bit. Yeah, I always laugh after I like cry I think maybe I cry a little too much. There's no such thing. I

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As an avid Steven Universe fan, there's no such thing as a good cry or no such thing is too much of a good cry I'm sorry I don't know You said you were gonna cry doesn't even go here. I just have a lot of emotions

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yeah, but like letting go of those of those three people in my life was pretty hard for me and then Um, like like I guess like they want to stay friends still after with you or each other No with me and i'm so wait, how does that work? Like they'll be like out of my life, but not too far. Yeah, like my best friend. Um, like she dropped me and then she's like, you really hurt me. She really, and she didn't speak to me. She blocked me. She didn't speak to me. She didn't respond to me. She didn't try to call me. And you know, Androids, when we block someone, we can see if they're actually messaging us. So after I found out she blocked me, I blocked her back. But I was like always checking my phone, like, oh, does she call me?

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And does she like?

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You're getting a little petty about it. You're just like, that's right.

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Yeah, well, yeah. You didn't message me.

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Yeah, yeah.

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And if you did, you'd be blocked so what?

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But like I'm ready for you you hurt me. I'm hurt you back No, I'm not even trying to hurt her

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I'm just I know this like that's when you like realize like oh I don't have a good friend like just how I meshed you are with the whole thing yeah So but it's good cuz like I lost three friends, but then I like instantly gained three friends Oh, like it's like how the universe works. That's wild you're just like oh, oh, okay. I lost people. I'm sad about it. Oh, here's three new friends universe. I kind of feel

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with that, like, it's kind of not in the same way of like, I lost friends in here. So like, new friends that right, like, not like, not replace. Yeah, yeah. Like, I don't think of I don't think of people moving in and out of our lives as like, replacements. It's a coping, it's really just a way to cope and a way to like, just kind of describe the way life moves like that.

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Right.

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But in the last couple weeks, I have one of my best friends, she had been for a few weeks been saying, hey, are you free like Friday, Saturday nights or whatever after work? And I'm like, usually Friday, sometimes I'm busy with other friends, but I was like, yeah, Saturday isn't usually not busy. What's up? And she's like, well, come along, come over to my place and we have this like game night and you can hang out with me and my friends. Is it D&D? No. Actually, you know what's funny? It started as D&D, but someone that's in the group, I won't name names, but is very self-centered and tries to make like the social gatherings kind of like around them a little bit too much.

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Oh, okay. Or maybe they're trying to like, just like control it.

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Yeah, it's very controlling. It's like very controlling in a way that like no one else, like everyone else sees it obviously. Is it their house? No, no, no, no, no, no. It's not. This is not my house. That's even weirder. It's like it's not your house and you're trying to like command both attention and control. It's weird. So like everyone kind of got sus about that.

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Maybe they get anxiety about like the social, or maybe they have a social anxiety.

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I mean, yes, but it's not mine. I don't know them well enough to speak on it. I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be on their side. You're fine. You wouldn't be if I told you the whole story. It's one of those things where it started as a D&D campaign and then they just stopped showing up or tried to make it contingent on their plans and be overly controlling. So the rest of the group was just like, screw it, we can do other stuff and like have fun different ways. So they've been playing these kind of like, very cinematic.

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I think I need to go.

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What?

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I need to leave my friend just sent me saying she needs to need to go help her urgent care and she's super dizzy and she can't walk or die. So I need to go Is that for real?

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Like, yeah.

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Oh, dang.

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We can pause this recording and pick it up later.

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Hey guys, we are back today.

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Back in the cut, literally in the jump cut.

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Yeah, we're back. And I brought my friend with me, so you guys know she's actually okay.

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Yeah.

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Yeah, because I don't want you guys to be afraid.

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Yeah, because you were just like, oh man, I have to go.

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I gotta go.

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I gotta go, and I was very confused because it sounded like a bit at first and then he just like actually left.

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Yeah, he thought I was joking. He was like, you're joking, right? And I was like, no, I actually do gotta go.

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Yeah, it just seems like a bit and it wasn't a bit.

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So our first guest, you are now our first guest actually for the show.

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How mean, I'm honored.

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I'm going to introduce her. Her name is Marie.

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My name is Marie.

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There you go.

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and I met Bosma, dear Bosma, through my son Dave and his close friend of his and she's been a light in my life.

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Aww, no, you're a light.

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That sounds about right.

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Yeah, and she's been there supporting me since my son's passing and she's been there to give me guidance and support and love and today, as usual, I called her to let her know that I was really ill and she...

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And I got lucky because I was like close by it too because usually I'm 30 minutes away from home Oh, I did see it 20 minutes late. So technically

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But actually it was quite I was quite surprised because she answered me real quickly that to me was quick. Oh really? Okay Yeah And I was I was relieved because I didn't I was able to drive and I didn't know how I was gonna get to the hospital

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Yeah, I'm happy. You're okay. Yeah, I think I was gonna take uber but oh my god, my teacher told me that though.

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What?

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My teacher was like, why did you go? And then I was like, oh, because some emergency happened with someone close to me. And then he was like, they could have took an Uber. And I just looked at him like, no, they could not.

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That's kind of that's kind of insensitive.

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I think he was just joking.

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Oh, okay. I hope so.

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Did I say that?

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No, no, my teacher. Oh, okay. One of my teachers because I missed one of my classes or whatever, but he's so involved

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in this. And the funny thing is, before everything happened, we were talking about how there are those teachers and professors in life that act like what they do is like the center

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of the universe.

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Yeah, yes, that's exactly.

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Yeah, for real.

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That's crazy how that linked.

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Hey, you know what, it comes full circle. And what we had been talking about, specifically about Letting Go, was what you had experienced about like, you've had a few people exit your life at the same time that you had new people enter your life. Right. I think I was starting to tell my story about something similar. Yeah, and then I cut you off. Yeah, because you were like, there's an emergency.

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Sorry, so finish your story.

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Yeah, yeah, yeah, I totally do. I totally do.

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Because it like, it stuck in my brain because it's like, it just gave me a level of like dopamine and or serotonin that it's like holding my brain right now. So what it was, was one of my best friends, she had been doing this game night thing where I think it started as D&D, but it changed to just being generally like get together, play video games, play board games, play card games, whatever. And she had been inviting me for a little bit, but I've been either burned out from work or not feeling well or ahead of the plans or whatever. But a couple weeks ago, I was able to actually go and it just kind of became, it just was a good time of like meeting her friends that I had met one time previous at a birthday party that she had held at the same place. And now it's becoming like a weekly like, oh, I'll see you next Saturday for game night. We're playing this, we're doing this, whatever. So, and there's already kind of dissension among different personality types and we're going to be going down and exploring this like uncharted wreck kind of thing, unreported wreck kind of thing. And there's going to be like ghosts and spooky stuff.

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I have a friend who plays D&D and she gets into arguments with the other D&D players. It's like, they're always like, it's just a game. And then they like get into like actual arguments.

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Yeah.

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Is she a dungeon master or is she just one of the players? I have no idea.

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I've never played that.

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But I would assume knowing how D&D works that the arguments come can come from like the players of the campaign fighting with the DM. Because like the DM is like the person who leads the campaign. They're the one that lays out the plan and the scope of the game.

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Right. Well, the reason why I'm bringing this up is because she had a hard time letting it go at one point. So when do you let go of a topic that you're discussing? For example, let's say you're into an argument and you're playing a game. It's just a game, but is it just a game?

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Someone's taking it a little serious.

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Yeah, so like, then they like think about it later. So the same thing happens for like when people leave your life. We were discussing how like sometimes you follow the crowd and sometimes you don't. And then like, so like what kind of person do you think is like what type of person would you want to be? Or what type of person are you? And what type of person do you want to be?

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I'm the kind of person that when it comes to following rules or like listening to whatever the authority is that I'm willing to go along with it as long as it makes sense. You know what I mean? Like if I'm being told to do stuff and it's just like I'm not understanding it or I understand what they're wanting or what their goal is, but I look at it and I go, why is this the way that you're going about it? Right.

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I don't know. Yeah. I mean, I'm one of those, and we talked about that before, too, where we were like, I can't stay quiet if I see something's going wrong. Yeah. How do you feel, Marie?

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Well, I've learned throughout my life that it's actually your perception of the world comes from who you are inside, who you are inside from childhood. fears, out of your anger, out of your anxieties. You know, we form ourselves from our childhood experiences and some people have better life experiences than others. So I must say that my perception of things has improved through a lot of work. Right. A lot of trauma work. Yeah. A lot of trauma work. Yeah, a lot of trauma work and I feel my perception now is becoming a little lighter where I don't take things as serious. I always had to take things like it's either right or it's wrong. So there's no right or wrong. It's just the way you see things and how you approach things. And everyone is going to have a different perspective. We're not all going to be the same.

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So if there's an argument going on and someone can't let it go at that point, what should they do? What do you think they should do?

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Well, I just feel they have to go with what's in their heart and their soul. And sometimes we can't control our frustrations because we're not at that level.

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Okay, what about, oh, sorry, I want to cut her off.

0:22:09
No, we're not at that level. Like sometimes when I'm in a situation at work or something, and like your employer is telling you to do one thing and the client is telling you to do another thing, you have to use common sense and say to myself, in this situation, what's more important right now? To me, it's the customer because the customers who were there to...

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The one that provides the money for the business to run.

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Yeah, or the one that's there for the events. The customer is right. You have to bend and do what the customer wants, even if it's going against your grain.

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I mean, sometimes.

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I was going to say, let's clarify that.

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Well, I'm talking in the business world. If they're paying for an event to happen and they want it run a certain way and your way is too rigid and they go no I want you to pull it back a little bit and do this instead

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okay yeah like yeah well we'll talk more about that later. Putting one in the chamber are you? Yeah yeah we're gonna come back next time and listen to more coping mechanisms with us me Bosma, Wesley and Marie. You want to be here

0:23:10
next time? Sure. All right we're gonna have Marie next time in the next video. Fantastic. Have fun editing this. I'll bring some good stuff from all the classes that I've taken. Yeah, for sure. Thanks for watching ROFL, reaching

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out for love. If you want to check us out, please go to Basmati at Instagram. See you out for love. If you want to check us out, please go to Basmati at Instagram. See you

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guys later.

Transcribed with Cockatoo