R.O.F.L. (Reach Out For Love)

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KU NV studios on public radio K, u and v 91.5. The content of this program does not reflect the views or opinions of 91.5 Jazz and more the University of Nevada, Las Vegas, or the Board of Regents of the Nevada System of Higher Education.

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What's up everybody? Welcome to our

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show about motivation and being yourself. That's right. What does our o l

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reach out for love show about motivation and love being yourself beating yourself up? You're so

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let's find out.

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Good morning, everybody. Man, you jumped in there. Good morning. You know, I was telling Wesley before the broadcast started, that I've been thinking a lot about what he said about how minimum wage it should be at least 20 something dollars. Yeah, at least 23 to 25. I saved 25 Because it's a nice, like, a nice figure. But yeah, yeah. I've been thinking a lot of workers morons. Well, I think so. In the fashion show Mall. There's a there's a kiosk that basically told me that he's also looking to hire somebody for $17 an hour just to stand at the kiosk. So then I was just thinking about it. I was like, I was thinking about what you said. And I was thinking, oh, man, I remember when Wesley was on the broadcast saying how we should be getting paid at least 20 something dollars an hour now as minimum wage. Because yeah, and that's and that's low balling myself. Like, right, right. Yeah. Yeah. So I was just thinking it was. So I guess 17 is the new 10. If you think about it, yeah. And we were talking before the broadcast about this, and, and I kind of countered with shore, but I feel that that's still, that's 15 Now, so like, the way that the 17 is the new 10 I think, I think it's more so like 15 is the new 10. But a lot of places are actually paying 1718. Yeah, I mean, like that is better. But I feel like that floor amount like we're talking about that lowball floor is more 15. Now, and that's in that wasn't really the case, pre pandemic, it wasn't enough, even back then. But again, to this ratio. 15 was like pre pandemic, like, decent trending positive. Yeah. And like, I'm actually, I have an interview, I just did an interview for a senior analyst position. And then they were asking me how much I want to get paid for that position. What would you tell them? And I told them, Well, this is the thing. So they sent out about what I said, I was thinking of always.

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They actually made me sign a paper like they were like, how much do you want to get paid between between they'll be like between 40,000 to 60,000. All they're trying to do

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are from 80,000 to 100,000. And I was worried.

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I don't want to put too big of a number. Yeah. And that's what they want you to do is they don't want you to they want they don't want you to be confident. They want you to feel like

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yeah, that you you want to lead the straight up,

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hire Bosma at

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like a reasonable livable wage, and you'll have an excellent employee just set her up for success and let her go.

Unknown Speaker 3:22
Again, I'm pretending that they're listening now. If your way of managing employees is micromanaging them and breathing down their neck and only looking at like hard numbers and you're not looking at like the actual human effort and thinking about things with like, empathy and compassion, then you're never gonna You're never gonna find what you're looking for. So that can sound like qualitative language. But what I'm saying is that is a hypothetical response to the employers that I'm hoping are listening. So this is for the people this is for Well, this is not qualitative language. This is for the people this is fertile people. I'm serious. I'm so dead.

Unknown Speaker 3:59
Here with no notes, and we're on fire. Yeah. We just started with NBA Jam levels on Vine like a mom like Mike D out of frame dunk in the fireball. Yeah. So good advice is if you guys get a job offer or an interview, do an interview and then they ask you how much you want to get paid. what's your what's your expected pay? Always, always always do your research and then see what's going on? Yeah, out there. What do you watch? What's the average get the average number and then maybe a little more some give them a number and I think and I think as well they gave you the full salary range just out of the hourly right away it also mask it a little bit. So maybe maybe you knew exactly what you wanted per hour but they bring you the salary and now that number they don't expect people to take the next step and actually have done that math. So that's that's a something to think about. That was new, the new minimum wage. That's crazy. Yeah. But also, we were going to talk about what people need to

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Oh, function.

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I was listening to the keep this part and I was listening to folklore about Taylor Swift.

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Oh, I know I saw the I saw the Eric Concert Movie like opening night it was fantastic, really incredible person or Well, no, no, no, I'm actually so I'll brag on him a little bit because I'm so like thrilled and retroactively jealous that he got to go. But my best friend Matt,

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very last minute, like two hours till Showtime type stuff. Got a ticket when she was here at Allegiant. And but that movie is fantastic. I highly recommend it. Well, I'm gonna go watch it. Yeah, I did. It's no, but

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Well, I don't know. But I'm telling you. So really like the last movie a lot. Okay. Because it was the her last show of the tour. And it was in SoFi stadium. My understanding is she played six shows in a row there. And they were all sold out. And this was filmed in the very last night. It's really long, but it flows. So well. It goes like through all the eras from not like in order but goes through all of them in a certain order. It's fantastic. Okay, cool. It's a whole production and it's yeah, it's awesome. I want to see it. I Loki already can't wait for there to be VOD or physical release that has like the entire show. Right? Because I want to see all of that. Okay. Yeah. You know, it's it's kind of interesting that, you know, how we were talking earlier about how everybody needs certain things to just function. Yeah. Being an a performer. Let's talk about that for a second. Being a performer. That is a lot of energy. As you perform you're a singer. Oh, yeah. I try my best. Yeah, right. Right. But like, let's say you were doing like big shows like Taylor Swift, the amount of energy and time and patience you know, how like, people praise people. For for not resting. If I ever if I ever make it, I'm gonna be I'm gonna leave that really toxic mentality. Yeah, I'm just gonna straight up say like, I do not condone, like, no, the rest is resistance. Always rest your body rest your body rest is resistance in a capitalist society. Yeah, I don't think it's attractive to not rest your body. Literally. No, it makes it it's bad for your health. It's bad for every aspect of your life is not getting enough rest. But it's also so easy for us to do it. It's so easy for us to not to like to go without it to go without, like, because of all the responsibilities we have and everything. But if we do some imbecile as well, yeah, it's crazy. It just makes me think so much. Like I'm always like, I'm like, Okay, let's say I made it. But I don't know. It's like, when do you stop? When do you stop to like, recently? I wasn't. I didn't even know that I wasn't feeling well. It's crazy. Like, I think everything got canceled for me that day. And I'm so used to going yeah, I kept calling a bunch of people but you won't do something today. I have nothing to do today and that no one would know an answer. You have nothing to do today. Good. Yeah, I didn't do nothing. No, I do think can also be an activity. Nothing can also be an activity. Like no is a complete sentence. You know, the same same type. I got type of finality. Yeah, I got lucky because nobody wants to take a rest. I was forced. Yeah. And I didn't know how badly I needed that rest. Like I passed out the hole. Now you realize why it's important. Yeah. Now.

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I think that's why I woke up this morning, like

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otherwise, he was like, a day away from not sleeping enough for death. Like Yeah.

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I was like, I woke up this morning. And I was like, Wait a second. I needed rest. Ya know, so So now I'm never I know. I always used to start these broadcasts being like, everybody do your best and never stop. Yeah, no, do it. No, stop.

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The effect I've had on this show. Yeah. Because I was. I was from the very beginning. I was like, I love the enthusiasm. But you gotta you gotta get real about some of it. I mean, it's fun. I make life fun. No, it is. It's it's a it's a genuine, it's like it's very genuine, the way the way you go about about it. It's just now you're now you're really like, I'm starting to realize you're seeing the application of it. Yeah.

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Oh, here we go again.

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fans. Fans are weird, in a way because they love the artists. Yeah. And then they hate the right and it's so weird. I don't like it. I

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know, I as a professional, enjoy your things. That's that's, like 30 years, like you gotta have, you gotta have a healthy balance. I was actually meaning to talk about this in general. So here we go. Oh, like it just healthy. It's just good, healthy boundaries to like practice, not just like, if you're gonna have like, I don't want to call them all parasocial relationships. But if you're gonna like really

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like leaning into your fandom of anything or its means that much to you, please as you're working on healing yourself heal your relationships with the things that keep you going because right they've their distance. And, and still your strong attachment has always kept it from being soured. But understand that the more we try to engage with it, the more that we have to be like, healthy about the ways we go about it or else we're you're breaking you get lost in the sauce. mean, it's hard for you not being toxic. Don't be a toxic fan. Just don't be Yeah, be respectful of people's boundaries and don't like, hate the people that you claim to love because they're doing something that they want to do different. You don't have I thought you were talking about the artists at one point, but you're talking about the fans, the artists and the fans in terms of both like, I feel like if you're being disrespectful, I don't even like saying it that way. But if people just gonna be nasty one way or the other, be it the artists to the fanbase of the fanbase the artists like, there's no, you're right, yeah, I'm just gonna really, like ruin lives. Like you really, really can't. I mean, I don't want to blow it up to whole lives. You can get you can get in your own way. Like, there's ways to go, there's times where I side with an artist, kind of going against their fans. And then a lot of the times I side with the fans, who are who are trying to just tell, like, let the artists know, like, Oh, you're just, you're doing something different. And it's not for me, and that's totally fine. I don't repeat you don't take it personally, right? It's just, it's just over the years, I've noticed that fans end up really, really loving an artist and just to immediately like or eventually find one thing and then like, destroy that artists or try to destroy the artists or like to take take one thing and be reactionary, to the point of this is the tipping point of Right, right. And it's like, it's like, you can only make those observations in the long term. You can't say that right in the moment like, the artist doesn't let them like there's there's artists out there that don't let you destroy anything. Like, what do you mean, Miley Cyrus, for example, she's had a lot of ups and downs in her career, but I think her support system was pretty solid. Honestly, I couldn't speak to that. I don't know. I don't think so. I Oh, no, no, no, I'm not. I'm not doubting it one way or the other. I just I don't know enough to know. Okay, I would like to think best of the situation. Not to me at the time like but I don't know. To me it looks like if you have a strong support system around you, you're less likely to have that crash like this is true. This is very true. Britney Spears didn't have that strong support system behind her. No and and that except for like, like legit Britney Stan's actually did I was about it was like yeah, we made it we made fun of like we made fun of a lot of people back in the in the 2000s for for backing Brittany throughout all the all the tabloid and all of all of the the bad press and the throws of the conservatorship and everything. We made fun of Chris Crocker for the Leave Britney alone video and like, in a microcosm in a bubble it is it is like, there is something humorous to it. But in reality, like it was, I feel like they really understood the the severity of the situation in that moment. Right. Right. And like hindsight being 2020, like we were, we were incredibly wrong to go along with, like, how she was portrayed. And I mean, well, when you say we, I mean, like, there's young people in there.

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Including myself. I mean, I was, I have to include myself. Not because I was like actually saying like, Oh Ha, she's crazy. It's just like, you were like, 14

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I was like, 12. Yeah, I was like, I was small. But I was like, watching the soup. I like watch this. Yeah, all the time every week. And you know, it's a lot of making fun of like E News and reality TV shows and celebrities stuff. And I know that sensitive is funny. And that's how I laughed at it. So I was always understanding and seeing the satire of it. So I was kind of laughing at the thing when we have a messed up humor. We were raised in a dark in a in a in a time of messed up humor. Like sociologically, it's like fake deep. It's like a TV. Well, it's just the situation but it was just like a massive meme. That yeah, like Harami is dead. Oh, no. Or like Shane Dawson at the time. Yeah, really? was watching Shane Dawson from like, his earliest days on YouTube. Yeah, me too. And it was weird that like, he would be big he it he would it would die down. He'd be big, it would die down right down. And like every single every single like, come up and then fade out and then come back. It was always like masking what I understand to be like really shady messed up stuff now. Right? It was just like no, this is obvious if you like the shock humor of the late

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teens. Yeah, that went down afterwards. It's like when people started to when the when the mentality shifted on like, Wait, why is this funny? Like? Yeah, like

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To the extreme, like the humor of like, the extremely online commentary was just to like poke fun at, at the, the levels of irony reflected back on each other over and over and over and over. But eventually, yeah, just burns itself out. But that was your phone. Okay? Yeah, it's just flashing crazy. Just got this phone and broken again. I always brick my phone, the worst thing ever, whatever, you're gonna cry about it. Like, whatever, I don't even care if

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you use my phone like you're about to become Lumpy Space Princess, our care. Oh.

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That's where it's probably started while I started watching. So when it was coming out, I didn't watch Adventure Time, I was watching the regular show. But I started watching Adventure Time recently. And so just like that that voice is like stuck in my brain harder than it ever was. That is funny. Okay, but if you think about it, like all these actors, these celebrities, these, these famous figures that become famous, like they go through a lot of days where they need to know what they need in order to function like another example would be Celine Dion, with her voice before her performances. He does a lot of

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like local exercise, vocal exercises. And you're good. Yeah, exactly. So she'll though she'll do a lot of vocal exercises. And then she has certain things where she's always drinking tea, or she, she knows what she needs to perform, he'll hydrate as I drink some water, right? So we as people on our normal daily activities, we need to do either their normal or not, whatever, whatever activities we have going on, we have to do what we need in order to function. And the one thing that we need, obviously everybody needs is rest and sleep. But I've always said it's funny. I always talk about this in every broadcast as if, like, I'm like subconsciously telling myself to go so I've realized a lot of my best advice is also me like telling myself what's up? Yeah. Which I mean, that's cool. Because I always think about, like, I'm gonna butcher the quote, but like, from the original, not the original, but like, the Disney Alice in Wonderland. Yeah. Of like, basically, like I, I get, it boils down to I give my I give other people advice and rarely follow it of my own. Right, right. And I'm, again, I know, I was gonna butcher the quote, but I can like picture. That's because we're stressing it. We're stressing it to them, because we're not listening to Yeah, we're like, No, I'm fine, guys. Like, it's all well and good. He's great. Everything's fine. And then we're just like twitching and like a mess.

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I am doing better, though. I will say I've been like I was mentioning the boundary thing earlier. Yeah, I actually I realized in the past three weeks to a month that I haven't been exercising proper boundaries with myself, when it comes to my work life schedule, my balance, right. And I made the conscious decision to make the change at the end of this past work week and started implementing it as of yesterday, and

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short term success. So far, so great, honestly, it's awesome to

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set a boundary and follow it and like, not have that anxiety or that like, Manic Panic of despair of like, what if I don't have that, like, I just, I don't know what has switched in my brain or what flipped or what brain chemicals are doing there.

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But it's a good, it's a good, it's a good positive change. And I'm hoping I can ride this wave and keep it going. Because I just expect it to always come back. Like, yeah, I know, I bid I know. I mean, I understand that. Because I get that way too. Like I get incredibly pessimistic as well. Well, I'm not even pessimistic about it. I'm just like, I'm expecting you before you get here. You'll see that's what I'm talking about. Like, I feel like when when if that if those feelings and emotions are going to come back, right? They're gonna knock at the door whenever they do. And I'm gonna open that door, and I'm gonna open it with a smile, I'm gonna, I'm gonna open up the door and be real. So everybody needs something different in order to function in their regular days. Yeah, eating sleeping exercise. Part of being happy with your and functioning properly throughout the day, is knowing when to say yes, and when to say no for years. And that's exactly what I'm saying. Those are my boundaries. I said, Yeah. And that is a really big part of it. It was honestly very nerve wracking to do it. But I kind of I have to be defiant in order to make those changes. You have to know like, through your life, yeah. And whatever you're going through, depending on who you are and what you're doing in your life. If you don't know what you're supposed to say no to and you're you're not going to say yes to unless you go through specific things. Yeah, teach you those lessons. Sometimes you learn that stuff right in the moment and like you're able to cut yourself off at the pass and make that decision then. But other times you just have to make like the mistake and get the experience and it's more so about like, it's not the end of the world because you made a mistake. Right? Exactly. Yep. And then, but not only just making mistakes, but just

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is knowing when to say no to specific things. Like for example, I say yes to a lot of things. And I love it. I love saying yes, you put so much weight and then you suffer though. Yeah, but I don't I don't suffer until I realized that I didn't say it is there's the no but but I like saying yes to a lot of things because I normally I can handle it. But I've learned how to say no. And that's you have. I've seen that growth. Yeah, that's those like jobs that don't care. Really, if you show like, for example, the other day I was my boss called me and I said, Hey, you don't have to show up to work. And then I was like, sweet, awesome.

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And then so I took the day off. And then like, literally an hour before my regular shift, he called me and he's like, Hey, I actually need you actually, three people just dropped the day. And then so I was asleep. Yeah, good. Good. Excellent. I didn't see as a message rest as resistance. But if I was awake, let's pretend I was, I would say no.

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Let's go. In that situation. That was the day that I was actually realizing that everybody canceled on me. I didn't have work. I didn't have school. I didn't have anything to do that you were forced to be by your Salesforce to be about

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how you're gonna have your company. yourself. Yeah, I'm getting getting that sleep for me. I didn't. I was trying to bring it up for you. Exercise. But bringing that getting that sleep for me, did help me realize, oh, wait a second, I need to take a moment to step back and start taking care of myself. And perhaps to do that more frequently than you have been. Yeah. But I also realized through the sleep that I've been doing a really good job with managing a lot of stuff and it kind of like, you know, are you like, have a moment to just sit down and pat yourself on the back? Yeah. Yeah. Like, that was my moment. Oh, good. That's awesome. Like, but that shouldn't have to come by accident, though. That should also come by like force as well. Right? It could just happen naturally. Yeah, just like have a good time. And just Yeah, living in the moment. What I can't do that I have an anxiety disorder. I don't talk about living in the moment. I don't do that i Everything is either in the future or in the past. There is no moment there is only my anxiety. Yeah. And that's what I love about knowing yourself, the more you know about yourself, the more you know what you need to function. Yeah, yeah, it's honestly kind of freeing to kind of look myself in the mirror and be like, bro, sometimes I'm a mess, but I'm like, That's cool, though. I'd much rather like be able to look myself in the mirror and be like, Yeah, I'm a mess than look in the mirror and be like, Yeah, I'm perfectly fine. Everything is totally 100% Fine. I don't need to work on anything. It's like I mean, that's that's where the that's where the denial comes in. Right? That Perfection isn't like black know where you start? Yeah, and I think I mentioned earlier where I was rebelling against my perfectionist tendencies all the time.

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I'm dragging this microphone right now.

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I'm doing

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the exact wrong thing. Did we don't have cameras and I'm doing a visual joke where I'm gonna drink this water. Oh, yeah. microphones because he's used to having a camera on because we want to know you brought the now I've been bringing it in twice and both times I forgot it was there and I'm gonna forget the next time, you know, next time, and the next day you brought up the next day. I'm always gonna forget Bosma guys live on air. Live leak is back everybody. Okay, so, you know, you know, you're bringing up a good point. Mental health is important. Because if your mind isn't right, then you're not going to you're going to assume or make up things that aren't actually going on in your life. Yeah, for example, making mountains out of molehills right so like for example, if I'm if I'm like making bad decisions, because I'm not really thinking the way I'm supposed to be thinking Sure. That's because I'm not realizing in the moment where the reality is. I'm just in my own mind. It kind of lies in the center of the Venn diagram and you're like not not there yet. And it's important for you to take care of your mental health as part of your functioning list of things to do like say no say is live in the moment but also know your support. Yeah, and by that I mean who who was around you? That knows you? Yeah. And and can you rely on them if you are having a bad mentor, right? Like, for example, me, I will just expect my friends like let's say my car breaks down in the middle of nowhere, a person who doesn't have that support system, they will freak out they will be like, Oh, I freaked out period. I'm gonna freak out and then get help. Right right. And then me I just I don't freak out until for you that must be really nice. Like, I just sit there and

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it's all just like I just wait you're like a teapot just whistling and just sit there Yeah, cuz my mind I told myself Oh, there's always a solution to everything. So like, I'll be like, one time that actually did happen to me. I did like, my car just stopped. I was three minutes away from my destination to I was so upset, but it just stopped out of nowhere. And I just sat there

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for like a good minute, and I was just like, Alright, can I walk to my destination? No. So then I started calling a bunch of people. Everybody's at work, and then that's when I started panicking. That's when I was like, Okay, I don't have any other options. Yeah. So then but yeah, eventually it got resolved. Like, because that's what everything always happens. Everything's. I think you need to kind of clarify how you're gonna finish that story there for me. Oh, my sister called me. Okay. We have like four or five minutes left, so you can finish that story. Yeah, now my sister came and saved the day. But like, what about what if I didn't have my sister? What if I didn't have a person to help me that I should have thought ahead for situations like that? That's why my friend always tell us how that perspective but I also don't should on yourself. Oh, to what don't like don't show it on yourself. Like I should have done this. No, no, I think I should have though. I think I should. You should always and this is a lesson I learned at that moment. You should always over what do you call it over prepare? Yes. Like always over prepare? Because one people are always going to react like in every single way possible. This is true. Sometimes reacting in a way that doesn't make any sense at all. Absolutely. So always be mentally prepared for that. Number two.

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Boss was giving good advice, but also straight out of survival mode. Yeah. what she was thinking when this is these are the thoughts that formed after she was like, Okay, now it's time to panic. I'm hit the panic. Yeah. I'm smacking the fan. Yeah. did so. Okay. So it gives some perspective on this as well. This is like fight or flight mentality thinking. Yeah, in the moment helps you but like, in now that you're more in like a regulated space. Right, you know, well, no, I I do think though, still to over prepare is the best thing. And I would rather be over prepared than underprepared. That's true. Right. But sometimes it's obviously we don't have time. Yeah. And energy and energy. I just don't have that. Like I have the where there's a will there's a way that Sure. But like so that's Lawson idealism. We all have a battery. That's yeah, exactly. And that's why you got to in your life. You you learn what in my life do I have? That's important? Yeah. And what do I have? That's not as important towards what I want to do with my life? Yeah, setting, setting healthy priorities is really important. It's something I struggle with entirely because like, everything is important, and everything connects in some realistic way in you know, it's different for everybody lives. So and then same for everybody. I mean, everybody's interconnected differently. Everyone fits into different intersectionalities you know, yeah, you're gonna have to say no to some things that other people would say yes to absolutely. And you're gonna have to over prepare for things other people don't prepare for at all never never. I was just gonna say the comparison is the thief of joy. Yeah, but when you were saying that about you know, the some people have to over some people under like, I didn't study or prepare for school until I was in college because I didn't have to it just school was easy for me like that. The the positive side of being labeled a gifted kid back then before we all understood it was the gifted kid to ADHD burnout pipeline

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is at school came super easy.

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Outside of the moments where I was like, am I getting dumber because some things aren't sticking as nearly as well and I'm struggling and random places through there i Yeah. And it wasn't until college that I really had to learn how to like study and take notes and like, actually be studious, which like I picked up but that was pretty that was a really difficult adjustment that took like that took like a year to figure it out. Yeah, to find out about yourself my freshman my freshman semesters were a nightmare in retrospect but you know, you learn sometimes like you're saying you have to kind of go through the crash course to learn so So yeah, you live and you learn to know what

Unknown Speaker 28:48
you said delivered to learn

Unknown Speaker 28:53
Yeah, you you live sorry you live in you learn to know what you need to function and

Unknown Speaker 28:59
I want to give people music recommendations on the show now. All right, go ahead. That's where at the end of the show, I want to give people music recommendations. Scott to network did a cover of escape from the city like the the opening level music from Sonic Adventure two battle, okay. It's fantastic. It's a great cover. It's a four track EP called the chippy tape is a rapper named Miles power I think is his name. And then your best friend JP that's his artists name made the beats into the did the production and I've been listening to those two things on repeat for like last week and a half. And then I'm gonna recommend a bunch of other stuff. But that's like what's on the top of my brain right now. And the one on my brain has Boulevard of Broken Dreams. Green Day. Yeah. All right. It's cool. All right.

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Outro is we always have a weird outro I know. Have a great day. Bye.

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Thanks for watching. rfl reaching out for love you want to check us out. Please go to Bosma tea at Instagram. See you guys later.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai