R.O.F.L. (Reach Out For Love)

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You're listening to locally produced programming created in KUNV Studios on Public Radio. KUNV 91.5. What's up everybody? Welcome to ROFL!

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The show about motivation and being yourself. That's right. What does R-O-L-F-L?

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Reach out for love. Show about motivation and love. Being yourself. How do you be yourself?

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I don't know. Let's find out.

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What's up everybody? What's going on?

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There's a few tips out there about how you guys can get comfortable or quote unquote happy in an unhappy situation or place. You guys can either change your mindset or, we'll talk about the second part later, but changing your mindset. Yeah, to what, from what, and and and. Yeah, it depends right? Yeah. It can really depend on like what we're

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talking about. And you know what's really tough about that is we live in a right-to-work state, which is like the intentionally worst named thing ever. Because like right-to-work, you think like a worker's rights and I have a right to work as in like because you're in the live human being in the workforce you have a right to employment but what it really means is more to that point because right to work is more like hyphenated so it's like get right to work and we can and we can fire you for literally what we said it was yeah I know it really is like do what we say or and you have like very little protection from just being fired willy-nilly right basically what right to work is right you get right to work

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or we write off gonna fire yeah exactly yeah exactly well last time you actually said that a good way to get through your day is to just like find those people that think like-minded with you in your workplace so if you find those people that's actually a way that you can cope in your environment is finding people who are like-minded. I mean, this seems like common sense, but yeah, yeah, how many times have we gone somewhere and then thought to ourselves, Oh, I think I can do this alone. And then you realize, Oh, quickly, like,

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it's not an alone situation. Yeah. Or you go into things kind of feeling alone in a crowd kind of thing, like, right, you can work on a ton of people, but then kind of feel still lonely and isolated in a sense.

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Though there are situations too though that like we will find ourselves being someone that we're not in situations just to make it look like we're extroverted quote unquote

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or introverted.

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That's the faking it, faking it till you make it.

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Yeah, but how long does that really last?

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Whenever I burn out I just stop.

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And that's actually so funny because we're going to talk about burnout today, too. There are different types of burnout, though, so technically I can't. Because, for me, for example, recently I was at, I've been going to school again. This time for music, because I love music. We talked about me taking 24 credits last time. I felt the burnout recently. I don't know if it was because of my classes or what, because I actually enjoy what I'm doing.

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It's just like- It's the amalgamation of everything. Yeah, you got a lot of stuff different stuff on your plate

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It's the unpredicted predictors is like I don't know how to explain that but is the unpredictability Yeah, like just in life. You don't know what's gonna happen or what's gonna hit you and when it's gonna hit you Yeah, so in my mind I was thinking no matter what hits me I'm gonna be ready for it go in cool on in force, but like that was not the right Last it didn't work.

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You blew up in your face, huh?

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Yeah, I'm totally controversing what I said last broadcast where I was like, go all in, you can do whatever you set your mind to, go do the things you hate.

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You kind of got ego check a little bit, didn't you? You told the universe to bring it and then it brought it and you're like, never mind.

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Bring it on, universe!

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You got punched in the face a little bit. You know, punch your ego in the face and it shrinks away a little bit.

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Yeah, it disappears completely. So yeah, I felt like really bad this past week so I was like, okay, maybe I shouldn't tell people to just go do what they hate.

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Because that's probably not the best advice. Like I'm saying, going out of spite almost, sometimes it's just kind of like the way to go. More so just having like a, I don't know, not an antagonistic edge to everything, but kind of like what you're saying if we're gonna be in in work environments social environments that we Aren't whether or not we like we know whether or not we fit into them or we're just trying to like Find a way to fit and like suit our needs or and there is a way for you to change

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Your mindset to be happy to so it's like you said if you don't fit in Currently you can fit in later, right? Right?

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I always just think like do whatever like little incidental things like give you a little bit of dopamine, give you a little bit of the happy chemical just because...

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Like some exercise, guys.

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Or that.

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I mean, yeah, totally.

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That's going to give you some dopamine. I was going to say little incidental things like...

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Like healthy habits?

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I was going to say, here at work, I have a bunch of plushies on my desk, and that's kind of like bringing a little bit of like myself into the workplace.

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Right, right. So you're reconnecting with joy.

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Yeah, pretty much. Or like my, I'm going to be starting slash restarting my second job, my other part time job at the Hoover Dam Cafe this coming, this coming week, this coming weekend, I'm able and allowed to listen to music while I work.

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Yes, like a positive distraction.

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Yeah, well I don't say distraction, but it's good to...

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I'm not distracted, what do you mean? What are you trying to do, give me five?

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I can do it myself, thank you very much.

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That's what we talked about last broadcast, guys.

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You need to go listen and come back.

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Please do.

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At the end of it got cut off by the ladies basketball game.

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There's a basketball team here at UNLV.

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But that is okay. The Lady Rebels are a great team, so it's okay. No, I get to listen to music while I'm working and obviously as I'm handling customers, because I'm a cashier, as long as they can still hear me and I can hear them and it's not too loud to overpower the conversation, then I'm good to go.

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Yeah, I find that super helpful.

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And that helps a lot.

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Yeah, yeah. I find that super helpful, too. Anytime I'm feeling down or just in the dumps, I guess that's how I would say it, if I listen to music, instantly my mood changes.

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Yeah. No, what's nice is I get to be able to like, I get to control the vibe a little bit, like set the mood, set the vibe, and I mean, I think I have a pretty great taste in music, so I'm happy with whatever I put on, you know? It's like when you listen to your own mix playlist and everything, and you're like, man, this is fresh. Who made this? And you're like, oh wait, I did.

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This is great. Yeah, and there's also scientific studies out there that say that music listening can reduce your anxiety and blood pressure. It's funny because I just Googled this right before saying it. Well, I knew it, but I just didn't remember how to say it.

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So I'm reading it. You're like, I believe it, but I won't believe myself until I Google it. Welcome to the 21st century, guys. How bad is your sense of self-trust? Let me Google every thought I have.

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And then there's also, is it even the 21st century? Let me Google that really quick.

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You're correct. It's the 21st century. I hear a lot of people say 20th and then 21st. No, actually it trips me out all the time because the 20th century is the 1900s and so now we're in the 2000s like total like in the word digits, you know, we are the counting up the digits It's the 21st century now, but it on paper. It's like to zero and whatever so you get tripped up, right? Yeah, yeah, exactly. I feel like do the mental math every time in my head to be able to do you Google that too? No No, you're the only one that does the Google.

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I'm the only one that Googles. Oh man, I'm trying to think. I'm the one who Googles.

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I am the Google master. Like Heisenberg and Breaking Bad.

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Oh my God, I was just re-watching that episode recently.

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Oh yeah.

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I've actually watched that whole series like three times. I watched it through when it was airing and then I re-watched it through one time like

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after I bought the DVD sets.

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Like fantastic actors.

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So good.

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Yeah, the whole thing is awesome. I actually, I restarted it. I re-watched it. I re-watched it.

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I re-watched it.

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I re-watched it. I re-watched it. I re-watched it. I re-watched it. I re-watched it.

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I re-watched it.

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I re-watched it.

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I re-watched it. I re-watched it. DVD sets. Like fantastic actors. So good. Yeah, the whole thing is awesome. I actually

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I restarted it again and I just love watching Jesse the drug addict. He's such an amazing that he did that. You know he was going to be killed off after the first season. Did you know that? Oh no, I didn't know that. Yeah, so the first, this is nothing to do with the show, but it's fun anyway. The first season was only like six or eight episodes or something because that was the same season that was like across TV there was like a huge writers guild strike right so it was like cut the cut the season short and there was a lot of like uh just like uncertainty and for a while it was like yeah we'll introduce Jesse and he's gonna die in the shootout with Tuco. No with Tuco? Yeah yeah right in the beginning like not like beginning, but it was gonna like he was gonna die in the season

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It's a pretty good actor too, though. I'm not gonna lie

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Yeah, I mean for being like a first a first season like antagonist Do you think this is gonna be like a big bad right for there's like before Gus shows up and stuff so and that's the reason why I

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Rewatch all those episodes is because I just love watching the actors and their mindset throughout it cuz like when you watch it the first Time you can't really see the actors if they're really good, then you really see the character and the storyline. And then when you watch it again, you're like, wow, they really did some really creative choices there. Which brings us back to the topic we were talking about. Being creative in your workplace, that actually is a way to find dopamine, to be happy. That's a proven way for you to be happier in your situation or something like that.

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Well, I mean, it tracks for me. I mean, I get to have some creative flourishes, set the vibe for my own little workspace, which is always nice.

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There are places, though, jobs that kind of hinder your creativity, which really sucks and is a super big downer. So if you're in a job that's going to hinder your creativity, too, because I know when you're working creative jobs, too

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They kind of do that too. Yeah, because you have to be creative within a certain set of parameters in a scope. Yeah Yeah, yeah that's always it's good in a sense of like it's good to focus your creativity and kind of like Set yourself a little sandbox to play in so to speak and then like I at some point I can do the work And and then I hit a wall and I just need a break or I just need like I need something else to kind of Distract me and I can come back later that kind of thing. Oh, yeah I need to bounce around yeah, that's a big one, too I need to bounce around in order to keep my creative juices flowing pretty much. Yeah, you need like little mini breaks

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Yeah, like you're mentioning I have a friend who has ADHD and she says she takes a break 15-minute break or a break every 15 minutes Okay, and that but she's super productive. How long is the break that she takes? I think she takes like a five

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Break. Yeah, it's like a five or ten. I one time was looking for a a song from this is a maybe like 2013 2014 so it's been it's been almost a decade around that time. It was about 6 7 p.m At night and I was like, what's that song? I gotta find this song I was having trouble remembering what any of the music sounded like other than like the genre or the words, but I remembered Aspects of the music video that I had seen when I was in like Okay, so you remember the visuals? Yeah, like middle school high school age because it was like 08, 09. Google's not gonna help with that Yeah, so that's what I tried to do too I was like maybe someone has also Kind of like described it somewhere and I can like pick up on the on the search terms, but no luck So I ended up I started searching for it about 6 or 7 p.m. and I couldn't find it couldn't find it couldn't find it and then suddenly my uh My mom busts in and she's like are you're still up? And I was like when you mean still up, it's like Maybe midnight only like 1 in the morning. Yeah, it's like mid. It's like midnight maybe cuz I I'm a night out We know it's like oh, whatever. It's like it's midnight. It's not that bad. I turn, my clock's behind me. I turn around and it's seven in the morning. No, I sat in one place looking for a single song for 12 hours.

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Wait, don't you have like a watch? Don't you have a watch around you or like?

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No, I just said my clock was behind me. I didn't have it. Cause that was back then. Okay.

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Jeez. Way back then.

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Wow, man, I'm not that old, man.

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Wesley's my age.

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We're literally the same age. I'm like, you're calling yourself old, man.

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No, I don't remember. Like, I always find a way to look at the time.

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I found the song later, but not that night.

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Oh, really? Oh, yeah. That reminds me of my ASL class whenever someone does an ASL thing. Usually I Google things. Yeah. I can't Google ASL.

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I'm like, what's this?

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You're being gestures to your phone. Like, what's this?

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What is this?

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Tell me what it is.

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Oh, no. I couldn't imagine that. Sounds like an existential nightmare, honestly.

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Yeah, I was like, I don't know what to say.

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You can't, you have no ideas. You have trouble articulating.

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There's like the movie A Quiet Place. I don't think I've watched the whole movie before.

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Oh, what a great movie.

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You've watched it, right?

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Oh, it's fantastic. I haven't seen the sequel, but I have seen the first one. It's so good.

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It's like where they can't talk or the aliens will attack.

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Yeah, yeah. Oh, it's so good. And they got like actual like deaf actors or at least I know that the daughter in the movie.

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Oh really? Yeah, I was wondering about that.

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Yeah. One of my favorite things is like when you see like a live concerts like festivals and the artists will be on stage and they're doing their thing. It's usually like rap artists and then they're off to the side as a signer and they're just going hard. Oh man, it's my favorite. Cause like I love hip hop and I love lyrically dense like it's just like when it's really complex rhymes and everything complex like subject matter I'm always really interested in like seeing how the signer does it because it's like I just want to know if they did I know in advance what the songs are gonna be like do they have a set list and they have to practice rehearsals yeah they have to know that because like otherwise they would I feel like you have to have the reaction time of a court stenographer. You just got to be like... You know what I mean? And that's the real goal. That honestly for all of the changing your mindset and everything is do whatever you can in your own spaces to create your own vibe. I believe I've said this on other episodes, but take up space. Intentionally take up space. Like you're a human being, you are like you have natural inherent worth just by the fact that you exist. And wherever you have to be in life, if it's like personal life or especially at work, because like you have to be there, that's the whole nature of the workplace, then like do whatever you can to still feel like you are bringing your own unique self to the situation. Like we're saying, you have to be creative within certain constraints, or you have a job to do, and it's not necessarily the most mentally engaging or challenging, then just do the little things, you know?

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Yeah, and there's also little things you guys can do to be more, having more gratitude. Apparently there's things that you can do to...

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Attitude of gratitude. Yeah.

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Oh, what?

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That's a thing. Yeah, I know. I grew up on that because it's mostly just the way I was raised. I won't go into super detail, but a lot of the mentality, the attitude of gratitude behind things like Alcoholics Anonymous, things like that, I was raised around those kind of recovery mindsets.

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Right, right. Actually, what you're mentioning is a very big thing that I notice amongst people. Okay. People who have gone through or are going through currently a very hard time in life, they are so positive. Like, I can't even explain how positive that they usually are. I'll just come over here with my negativity. You're negative. Just because I'm so negative. I'll be like, oh, man, this sucks. we should be grateful for being able to work on this because

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See I take some exception to the idea of always be grateful just because like a lot of times in my experience it kind of sometimes the same or used in similar circles to be like...

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Overly happy?

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Just taking abuse in a sense. Not necessarily abuse, but like...

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Oh, that's sad.

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Anything you get thrown, well, be grateful. It could be worse, you know what I mean? It's like dismissing of an actual issue. You're downplaying something, you're dismissing what could be a genuine concern.

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No, oh my gosh, what you just said makes so much sense because recently I did go through that with one of my friends where they were telling me all this positivity and I was like, oh my gosh, it's so positive and they're shining with such a bright light and then they tell me another part of their life and I'm like, wait, that's that's actually really bad. You shouldn't have to deal with that. And then they'll be like, oh, well, it's okay It will just it'll get better. No, no, wait, stop going there. That's bad for you. Yeah. Yeah, I guess you're right There's that limit that we kind of can't set if we're too in the mindset of being positive

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But I mean like those told like we're also just like kind of told from a young age to stomach a lot of things that even are very young and still like, incredibly like underdeveloped, but still like spongy, learning everything all the time kind of brains that we have as children. Like we're kind of accustomed and told like, in over the course of like obedience and things like that to really just turn a blind eye to or just take a whole lot of like direction or a mentality of Like we'll be grateful. It's not worse

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I mean sometimes it is a good thing to have that Because then you don't you know, you know how to be grateful for what you have. Yeah, but at the same time, like you're saying, I don't want to be the person to be like, I'm so grateful that I'm not you. You know what I mean? I've always hated that. When I hear people say things like that, I don't want to be that person to say that.

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It's just the dismissiveness of like, it's insulting to both people on either side of the hypothetical, right? Because being dismissive like that harms the person who is like has the has the concern or the complaint what have you and then whatever the other point of comparison is is Usually kind of also a slap or a spit in the face to whoever's being used. Yeah, exactly You know, I mean like how many times have we someone said something and the response is like oh Well, there's like starving kids in Africa. Yeah, I mean that's actually the best example because we do that everywhere. All the time and it's like it's insulting because you're just assuming that a bunch of places in Africa are like third world countries which is not true. Like there's a lot more technological advancements within the entire continent of Africa that but they also say they don't talk

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about that but it's true. Yeah, exactly. And they also say that comparison is the thief of happiness anyways. Thief of joy. Yeah, same thing. You can say both I guess. But yeah, so comparing yourself to other people, probably not the best thing to do to be grateful because you might go down a dark hole like you're mentioning and then start thinking like,

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oh it could be worse. Yeah, it could always be worse. Right, yeah, it really can always be worse. The thing is, it doesn't actually quell any of the nervousness, the anxiety, or the fear, whatever it is, wherever it comes from, it's like, all it does is repress. And that's like the last thing you want to do.

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Yeah, because then it's going to blow up one day. It's just going to keep holding it in and then, bam.

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It'll just explode. And then when you explode, it's like the straw that breaks the camel's back. It's related to probably nothing, apropos of nothing, but it's just the final thing and then everything from however long ago has just, then they're not in the place to...

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To see how they're treating others or reacting in their own situation.

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Reacting in their own situation or able to like, assuming the people around them are like trying to be empathetic. It's like, you're not in a headspace having the meltdown to be able to oftentimes, like articulate yourself. You know what I mean? Because you can say, oh, it's all this stuff that's making you blow up, but all they're going to hear is a bunch of old stuff, past stuff.

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I mean, unless they're like me.

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They won't realize how it's connected.

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I personally, I have a lot of friends like that where they're very up and down, always in these tough situations. And it's not like life is going to stop for you. And you're going to, yeah, it's never gonna stop.

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I really wish life came with a pause button sometimes.

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Yeah, me too. Honestly, like let me clean those all up so I can look like I got my stuff together.

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It's gonna sound really dark and really morbid, but sometimes when it gets really bad, I don't want to really die. I just want everything to stop so I can rest. I want to be able to turn the lights off and turn the lights back on. I just want to pause for a season and just be able to rest, refresh, all that stuff. But it's kind of sometimes just like the speed of life just kind of hits you like a bus sometimes.

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Well, this links back to what we were talking about last broadcast about taking care of yourself and how important that self-care in your schedule is in reality. It's just like a big reality check for you like me. I got burnt out recently

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Yeah, some people really the way that life kind of For better or worse like air quotes here has to be for them in that moment they have things that they can only control so so much, you know, they don't have the Unfortunately, it can be called a luxury to be able to rest whatever that means for three days, right?

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Well, yeah, especially if you have kids and you have work and then you have a bunch of stuff like that going on. But I mean, it's not like I stopped everything at the same time. You can find some spaces.

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You found rest periods.

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Yeah, exactly. For me, yesterday, because I was feeling horrible, but yesterday I went to my classes still. I still showed up and I was just dragging myself. And then you're going to have people who say stuff like, you look fine, everything looks good. And then you have other people who say you look really bad I don't know you need to go home or something like you always get different comments It doesn't really matter what you hear or how how other people think you should handle search you certain situation

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Yeah, it just matters. Do you think you should show up? Can you that's what I was talking about one a couple episodes ago Right just if you can do anything just show up. It doesn't matter if you look horrible or you you know for I don't know if you're like a you have a meticulous like morning routine or like a makeup routine you do or something but like if the least you can do is just show up but you're like I didn't put my face on I didn't I didn't coordinate my outfit whatever you do to you know feel yourself throughout the day you know it's like at least the important thing is you showed

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up. That's where you have to start thinking yourself I'll get into your own mind and say, I'm doing the best I can and I'm proud of myself.

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Exactly.

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Pat yourself on the back and be like, bring that dopamine for yourself. You don't need someone to come and tell you that you're doing a good job in order for you to feel good about yourself in the work environment in general.

0:24:18
Right. That kind of self-advocacy is so important and I think it reminds me of something I don't I've said, but I really want everyone to take this away from this episode, if anything, is self-care is not selfish. Right. Like, I don't care what someone wants to say about that or how they want to kind of take it and twist it. It's just straight up true.

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Yeah, how are you going to fill other people's cups if you can't even fill up your own?

0:24:45
Yeah, because it's a balance. You have to be able to take care of yourself and, you know, it's good to be mindful of others and being helpful to others and But self-care you know straight up is not selfish if it makes you feel like a bad person for Taking time for yourself that you feel has to go to another person or another place or another group of people Whatever. It's like if you can't rest and recharge and the people around you don't understand that or even worse like take offense to it or treat you like you're like an antagonizer or something, then that's a big sign that the problem is most likely not with you, it's with them. Usually self-care is not taking yourself out of an equation entirely. No, of course not.

0:25:28
Yeah, and I think though a big part of what you just said is that look at the people around you, like in your environment, how are they treating you? How do they normally treat you? If you feel like they're not giving you your self-care time, then, I mean, let's analyze it a little bit before we assume that they hate you or they don't care about you.

0:25:47
At least try to have a conversation.

0:25:49
Yeah, yeah. But yeah, you're right. Like most of the time, you know, people just are not really up for you taking that self-care. But if you have the right people in your life, they will be. They will be understanding.

0:26:00
That's exactly my point.

0:26:01
Yeah. Right.

0:26:03
But anyways, this was a great talk

0:26:03
I think that a lot of the things that we mentioned were great tips really in order to like find Dopamine in the workplace. Yeah. Anyways guys. I hope you guys have a great day. Thanks for listening in Thank you, Wesley for being here as always and we want to say goodbye to the people

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What did you say?

0:26:20
What? It was like, fighting. Thanks for watching ROFL Reaching Out for Love.

0:26:28
If you want to check us out, please go to BasMati at Instagram. If you want to check us out, please go to BasMati at Instagram.

0:26:32
See you guys later.

Transcribed with Cockatoo