The Best Radio Show Out of UNLV! (definitely not biased)
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What's up everybody? Welcome to our show about motivation and being yourself. That's right. What
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does our o l
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reach out for loads show about motivation and love being yourself being yourself. Be yourself. Let's find out. Yo, yo, yo, what's up everybody? Hey, yo, welcome back to the show.
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We are back.
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This is the best radio show at the university. Yeah, hands down.
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It's the best one because we're on it. That's how that works. The guy who runs the studio is the guy co hosting the podcast. What makes it the best?
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Oh Mark.
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Yeah, I'm actually a major grifter. I'm actually billionaire and I haven't said anything.
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We're gonna be getting all these comments coming to like, What do you mean? You're the best?
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I'm cosplaying. I'm cosplaying Paul, poor choking. I'm actually poor.
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I hope you guys are doing great out there. Today, we're gonna be talking about boundary setting. And, you know, following what you believe in, like we were talking about last time we kind of like ended the last broadcast on that topic. I really liked that topic, though. Like boundary setting. I feel like as I've gotten older, the boundary setting has gotten easier. Almost. Yeah. And to an extent. Like when I was younger, I was like, I can't say no to people, because like we were talking about last time, saying no, when I was younger I was I'm a people pleaser, right. And so I don't like to say no to people. But now I'm like, older and I'm like, when I say no, that means
Unknown Speaker 1:51
Yeah, that's a good thing. Complete set. Period. This Yeah. Like, you
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know what? That's a good thing. stick to my guns on that. Yeah.
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Because it's not selfish. It's just people saying that it is because they don't get what they want.
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Well, yeah, it can be selfish. Sometimes I'm used to
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very like surface level, like, not a lot behind the eyes kind of selfishness that I have to set like very, very, like almost like the simplest boundaries. But in any but like my reaction to all of them, you know, they get mad and they blame you about it is like that's, that's, that's a simple and childish, then the stuff that I have to deal with on a regular basis. Really, honestly, unfortunately, is that like, childish, that not coming from me, but that I have to deal with. And this is so childish. I just get so frustrated. And I don't know, it shouldn't be a problem like setting, setting a boundary shouldn't make make us feel guilty or shameful. But like that's, that's how we were raised out here.
Unknown Speaker 2:58
It's important to set boundaries. Sometimes that's where that's where the no can be not selfish to be selfish. It can be not selfish, in terms of like, are you taking care of yourself? Like, yeah, sometimes we do need to set those boundaries. Sometimes we don't have to set those boundaries. But we do it anyways. Because yeah, I mean, it's good to take care of yourself. And it's good to take care of it. I feel like there's like a good balance in between, too. Because in my experience, sometimes I'll say no, you know, we create our little bubble. Yeah. And then we don't want to pop our own bubble. And we don't want to get out of our little comfort zone. Sometimes it's good to get out of our comfort zone.
Unknown Speaker 3:31
A little nudge outside of the comfort zone is always good. Like, like pushing our bubble is always good to like just force ourselves out in the open is like, the quickest way to make sure that we never do it again. Or that we don't do it for a long time. Right. Right. So it's like incremental risk taking is kind of like a good way to I think I think about it that way, like, make a tiny risk. You know,
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it's actually hard for me,
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I think irresponsible just a tiny risk. It's hard to
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know when when we're supposed to get out of our comfort zone. Yeah.
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Yeah, like sometimes
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I'm so used to saying no to something. Yeah. Well, actually, I say yes to like almost like
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you say yes to tons of things like to your detriment. You'd say yes to tons. I love it. You love saying you love saying yes. And then you're like, man, and then you look at your plate and it's like a mountain of stuff and you're like why did i Why did yeah, I'm this is fine the dog while the house is burning? Like I literally do, like, having been on this show with you for for a while now. It's like, I hear about make your work. You make it work, but like at what costs like my own sleep? Yeah, dude. Like if you if you if you're like, if you're hurting yourself,
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it's okay. It's not like it's only a problem when when I'm when I bring it up and you're like, No, no, it's only a problem when it affects your well being. Yeah, like if I'm happy that's my Well, yeah, but my well being is great. I feel good. I feel like so Sometimes, though, I do think about it, like, you're like,
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I feel good about it. And you come in here being like, I don't want to do video. I don't look good. Also, I'm tired.
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I actually put on makeup today and my hair's done.
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I was surprised that you I got very rarely seen you with makeup on. Yeah, I don't
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usually wear makeup. But because I met a makeup artist, she has been teaching me how to apply makeup. And we might start on like our own little mini show. I don't know how it's gonna go. Because every single week we film like one thing. And then it's like the we're still in the intro. It's like a month later. So we're figuring it out. She's a creative director. So she wants it to.
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Yeah, yeah, she's got a style that she wants to do. Yeah,
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I said yes to that. I didn't know what the time was gonna be. So I feel like sometimes it's hard for us to say. Like, was like, okay, like, last time I was talking about that the person who told me to Hutchins with that song.
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Yeah, with the song which you told me more about in detail Off mic. And it's disgusting. I felt gross hearing you say the words and they weren't words that you know, I would ever say ever a ever say yeah. Be like, never performed like,
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like, I didn't even say I didn't even have my my like, boss my. And I told him before I said, Hey, you should find someone who really connects with your with your meat with your message. You know, not not just any singer find a main singer who really can sing those parts and really
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enjoy. Yeah, if like, if this was a passion project in some aspect for him. Yeah, he should find those like, similarly passionate people.
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And I think that's that lesson put
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out a casting call. Like that's literally what they're for. Right? Exactly.
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Yeah, I think that I learned that. Never say yes to something unless you know what you're saying yes to completely. So that's a
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lesson that we like jokingly got taught in like elementary, middle school or something. Because some teacher off hand was like, If anyone ever asks you to, to raise your hand and say yes, and they don't give you a whole lot information. Never do it. We're just like, why do you that's how you end up in the military. Don't say yes. If you don't know what you're saying? Yes. To like, yeah,
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it's hard sometimes. Because it's sometimes it comes from people you trust. Sometimes you're like, oh, yeah, this person would understands me and understands where I'm coming from and yeah, or thing. And then then then they say it was due that you'd like okay, but then you realize that Wait, hold on, they have another side to them that I didn't know that. They think that I'm cool with because we've been cool for like a long time. And then you realize, oh, we don't really connect on this level. Yeah. And you find that out later. So you always gotta like, it's, it's hard. You always gotta be on your toes. Because you can't ask all the details. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 7:45
I don't even like phrasing it. Like, oh, we got to be on your toes. Because like, I It doesn't help. Anytime ever. It doesn't help if you're like, suspicious of a person you're getting Yeah. It's like, it's like, you just be observant, and like, just like common sense. And like, whatever. It's difficult. It's complex. You know, I just don't want to I don't like to be like, I deal with enough anxiety and depression naturally. I'm not trying to in like, introduce more like, Doom or thinking in viewpoints into my like, into the way that I socialize and like how I meet people and and how I think of them as I'm getting to know them. I really try to not like blindly think the best but like don't I just don't assume malice.
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Well, no, yeah, cuz I going in though. It's like we there's like a limit, I guess. Yeah. Because whenever I think about how I was viewing this person before, they asked me then after they asked me, it was like, a full trust, like at the beginning, and at that later, I was like, Wait, boundaries.
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Boundaries. You're very comfortable with this icky song. Okay. Yeah, it's
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just like that. That was a good lesson for me to say no, like, ahead of time, but learning more about what exactly people want to get me to be part of. Yeah, and, and there's a lot of things we have to say no to getting when we're getting older. I'm realizing, wow, okay. There's a lot of things I got to say no to. Or, okay. Here's another example. I went to an event, just like a concert. For example, I went to a concert. I'm really happy. I'm going over there. And then all of a sudden, people start shoving and pushing. And then I'm like, what that I mean, like, this is not one of those fun, like concerts where people are supposed to. Yes, marching show. Yeah, it's like one of those like, hey, let's be like, calm and collected and enjoy the music. Yeah. Yeah. And each other's company, you know? And when they started pushing, it totally switched my whole mood like I went from like, Oh, love this place to wanna I'm so angry. Yeah,
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I want to do the immediate irritability dude. I feel that completely when I when something just pushes me like we're talking about like, making myself feel like a little comfortable and rather like and then otherwise like even a little bit uncomfortable because situation There's no push out the bubble a little bit, but that when stuff just like takes a real turn, then my so does my mood.
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I generally I know that introvert extrovert is just a myth or from what I've heard, but it's
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just an expression of like, it's more introvert and extrovert, the best I've heard it explained is introvert is you spend more time in your head. And that extrovert is you spend more time like, out in the world. Right, right. Makes sense? Like yeah,
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exactly. Because there's not really a one definition of
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the inside outside is just your environment. But the inside outside in the base definition is more so introspective, versus I guess, extra extra, you
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explain that really? Well. Yeah, I like the way Wesley explained things he was. I
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took that from somebody else who explained that so well, that I picked that up. So for
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me, it's like, I'll hear it, and then I'll forget it. And then when I when I see it or hear it again, I'm like, oh, yeah, that
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that's how I am people's names. I meet people, like all day, every day with with my job. And so some of the same people, but you know, people bring guests on their show. And these guests are almost always like, new people. And I see a lot of people I do and I struggle to remember everyone's name right away. So like, literally, I'll meet someone shake their hand. Oh, what's your name? All right, cool. Next person. Oh, what's your name? All right, cool. And go back to the first person. I don't remember what your name is. I'm really impressed. I can remember five
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people who remember all the names, like like, literally, there was this girl at this place I went to and my friend introduced her to this whole group of people and I was one of them. And she just remembered everybody's name. I was like, well, whatever
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job I'm doing. It was insane.
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I was like, Man, that's so inspiring. I need to be like that. I need to be more like you. Because people's names. That's a big, that's a big thing. If you remember someone's name that makes a really good impression on other people. And it's not like you don't respect them by not remembering their name. It's just like, it's a difficult thing to teach yourself how to do like on the spot. But I hate I want to like be able to. I hate hate such a strong word. But I want to be able to see someone remember their name and know everything about them in that moment is I love this. I would love that. Like just love that skill.
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I know everything about them in the moment. That's cool. No, I
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mean, like if they say, oh, yeah, um, well, I can I can remember you mean
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like if they're like, if you like are having like your first conversation and they just kind of given you like a bio about themselves. Yeah.
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I always remember the bio, and their face. I don't remember their name.
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I do that a lot, too. I'm like, You look familiar. And then that just like whole life story, but I don't remember your name. I remember like really weird details about people I went to school with? Yeah, and it's like, none of its ever like I remember you just horrible. It's just always just like all like, all learn random little trivia about people. Right? Right. Even if I've like not talked to them in decades, I'll just be like, I remember that about you. That reminds
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me of marketing. Because what they do is they'll you'll remember someone on TV based off of like one thing. Yeah, not their whole life story. Right? Like, oh, yeah, you're that guy in that movie? Or that commercial? I remember you. Yeah,
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I mean, that's also like, how they're in a public space. So that makes sense. You can get famous
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from one thing Yeah. And then and then be only known as that thing. But yeah, it's interesting that people will remember you for that. And so that's where saying yes, and what will people
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remember me for just a random radio radio guy? Well, yeah, I mean, like randomly in school because like you never know how like what people remember and like I'm saying not to be like not to get my own head about it. But like if I can remember like really random details about people that I'm like not otherwise connected to I'm curious what people like what little like nuggets of information people have like remembered about me
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I've always actually been worried about that growing up I was like, I don't want to be known as the SPAS only one thing I want to be known as that's why I'm so like, everything but like I've always thought about that because I'll look at my for example my professors I'll remember them would like they're so amazing. They're so they're such beautiful souls. Thank
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you for teaching me Yeah, well, whatever. Said beautiful soul I'm sorry.
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I remember them as one thing and then I'll say, Okay, I want to make them proud for some reason I have this big thing where I'm like, I want to make everyone who's ever taught me anything as proud as can be. So I want to be able to just great
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it's a great like, like guiding viewpoint but also like I hope you're not taking that like like a layout
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fine wisely.
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Yeah, you sure if I actually wasn't make you feel
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I like I liked the song living on the edge. And I think it's by Chandi cinema, Simone sun Sunday.
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I don't know I'm living on the edge is also an Aerosmith song, which is why Oh, yeah,
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maybe maybe that's how they sing it. Because I remember I remember. I remember looking at the Aerosmith version too, and be like, This is not the song I was looking
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for. No, it's just more popular than the one that you were trying to find. Yeah,
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I think mine's in a movie. but I love to live on the edge and follow the dreams. So whatever is writing from me that I can say yes to? Yeah. What about? What about like? What about performance reviews that when jobs and boundaries with performance reviews?
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Well, I don't know about? I'm gonna know exactly what those two have to do with each other. Other than I was gonna say you probably you sound like you got something in the chamber but my my, my first thought is, like just having like work life boundaries. Yeah. Or before it was even a performance review. You have the work life boundaries? Yes. Which I'm grateful that I can set my own pretty, pretty simply with my position, but I've definitely been in jobs where they don't care about any individual person, they care about the financial bottom line of the company. Yeah. And otherwise, everyone is just a person in a chair, a personal computer, a person who knows in a cubicle. Yeah, we've
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talked also about like, never taking whatever they say on your performance review personally, right? Yeah. Because it's like, yeah, work life balance, and then performance reviews, by the reason why I'm bringing them up is because when it comes to boundaries, as in set boundaries on your work life balance, basically. So don't don't feel bad for taking care of your life, but also put in the time that you that you should into your job as well. So you can keep it going strong as well. But there's like there's a balance there. And it's hard to find it sometimes, for example, if you're having a hard time finding time, to if you feel tired, sick, and mentally exhausted, just all these things, your body's telling you something and you got to take care of yourself, don't feel guilty for taking that rest day, or that day off, or like, you know, sometimes we need that even though we can't have it all the time.
Unknown Speaker 16:54
It's gonna say, our, our, unfortunately, our, our work expectations or the expectations placed upon us from a lot of a lot of our, a lot of our work environments. Don't, they ask so much of us or demand so much of us, be it time or energy or, or whatever, we whatever we bring to the table that they take too much. And we don't have adequate time to like, do the things that truly bring us write rest and recharge, because like, rest is not strictly I'm napping or sleeping, rest can be like, an active thing.
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For functioning. Function. Yeah, like,
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like, rest, like, or something restful for me is being able to like, some days, I am able to, like start my workday at like noon, which means I can wake up, you know, not late in the morning, but like, you know, nine 930 And I can take my time getting through simple morning routine, have a shower and eat and do this, not the other. And, you know, that takes like two hours at least Yeah, well, not not being so like, hurry up and get it done already. And just like taking your time. Like I think just learning how to take, take back taking our time. It's almost like we're not allowed to, or we're like, somehow feel guilty or punished for wanting to slow down, wanting to even temporarily take certain things off of our plate. Or, like we're saying establish certain boundaries or find a work life balance. And it's like, we want these things inherently like we feel them in ourselves. Like our body's telling us like You're like you're saying our bodies eventually tell us? No, you're you need this, or this is actually just happening. And it's like happening to you now because you didn't do it for yourself. It reminds me of a book I want to read, but I've heard about it called rest as resistance, which pretty much takes that whole idea of like, we live in this type of society organized this way. And here's here's us doing our very, very best and trying to rise to all these occasions and meet all these challenges and expectations. But it's coming at a cost that we need to like, we need to resist, like everything being thrown at us so we can carve out like time for ourselves time to rest time to just be humans and do human and do humanity without it being like work related, right?
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And the reason so for those of you guys who don't know I have over six years of analytics experience, and I feel like when I was working that position, I was just sitting down all day so for me personally, I feel like the rest part could be maybe my my body is not meant to sit down for that long. Wherever
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we like, literally are not made to Yeah, not long. Yeah, they
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found that out scientifically. You
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can it's like it's sitting and standing like, we're not meant to be like motionless. Right? Like, yeah, like consistently like, yeah, exactly the periods of time, we need to
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get some of that physical activity because I feel like flowing, I have way more energy when I'm not going and sitting at the job. And I could do a lot more I felt like because I started working from home for for like two to three years there at the end of it. And then I was like, wow, I have I'm doing a lot more stuff. I'm more productive. I've been doing this this whole time. Right? Exactly. I have a friend of mine, they started they were working from home. And then their job was like, Oh, we want you guys to come back into the office. And they find that their productivity actually decreased after that, even though they're like they're, they're there. But they're not mentally there. And they're physically exhausted,
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is literally describing when I worked at at a call center. And it was, it was an easy enough job. But stuff that got bad performance reviews, or got you quote unquote, in trouble with management, oftentimes came down to just probability and chance, right? We did, if I could, and I in that job, I could prove that I did everything that they would have ever asked me to do as a safeguard to to avoid and manage the negative outcome of the job. But when I've done everything that they've given me the training for literally two weeks of training, and
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probably even more,
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yeah, and more, you know, and it still doesn't work out. It didn't like the goodwill of me saying I can, like, I can prove that I did my job and still got the negative outcome. But they don't care that I did what they told me they care whether or not they got that positive or negative. And suddenly, my my effort that I put in, didn't matter and could get me fired to write because of because of probabilities and chance that I can't control, I can only mitigate so much before. It's just like the proverbial flip of the coin,
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right? And that comes back down to Oh, when you over prepare on your on survival mode. So when you're in survival mode, you're like, oh, okay, I got to over prepare, I got to make sure that I can account for these things out of my control.
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And then you do that stuff. You get in that in that in that mindset, and you're forced to kind of stay in it in order to function. But that burns you out, that's going to lead to long term, it's going to lead to like short term gain maybe. But long term, it's going to burn you out mentally, it's going to burn you out physically, it's going to burn you out. Emotionally, right, it's going to
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even go even when you're passionate about even when Yeah, we know we'll just need break. Sometimes Sometimes the passion dies out when you realize oh, where's my break? Yeah, you know, the
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passion, passion dies out for a lot of people, when the want becomes a half. I want to do this versus I half, right? That's
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why people end up going from Oh, I have this hobby to oh, I don't do the hobby anymore. It's just hardly or I have this career. I mean, and that turns into a hobby is because they don't want it to be a career anymore. Because they feel they feel that that pressure now I don't even pressure it's just, it's just demands Yeah, my
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favorite stuff in the world to involve myself with I can't do all day every day even though I love it. I like I've been I've said on this podcast before and I've let it I've let it be known on other shows that I've guested on that, like two of my biggest passions in life are pro wrestling and music. I have a massive record collection. But I I need there's times where I'm just done listening to music, I want to hear nothing I want I want to hear what life sounds like
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without music. Like we have different likes and and we want to experience different things. We can do the same
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things over and over and over. And then in same thing with wrestling like I can, we can but I can marathon and catch up with everything that I follow, which is a lot. And I would watch it every single day for multiple hours if I could, but at some point, I'm gonna just hit a wall and I'm gonna be like, I've enjoyed what I've seen, but if I can, I can feel it mentally too. It's like it's one of those things you can key in after after a while of like, I'm enjoying what I'm doing. And I have no problem with what I'm enjoying. But I'm just starting to mentally check out and like my my interest in the moment is waning and so like the more I was mentally tired from it that certain Yeah, just burned out and just say I love this thing, but I need a break. Yes, I
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love piano. Yeah,
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I love whatever. Yeah,
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you play piano and then you give yourself a break. You come back after that mental break and you stronger. Yeah, and you come back. So you need to give yourself those like go piano then go do something else. They come back like that. I really strongly believe in doing a lot of things in your life. If and not just focusing on one, especially in today's day and age, because you? Well, what do you mean,
Unknown Speaker 25:05
when you say, well, they don't let you just do one thing, like the one person is called the 1%. Because that's how few people in the population qualify for that, for that place. And that's to say that we vastly outnumber all the people
Unknown Speaker 25:18
that comes back to the whole, picking one thing and sticking to it, because if you're working really hard on one thing, and then you're you're really focused in on it, you could be in the same boat as someone else who did the exact same thing. And like you said, the 1%. So the person who gets chosen as the one who will do whatever the business wants in that moment, yeah, the most sycophantic Yeah, so, so if you have like, for example, if the business is very, like hardcore, or like, we only think of money and business, the person who's gonna get that raise, or that promotion is definitely gonna be the person who's like, I agree with all of your morals and thought processes.
Unknown Speaker 25:54
What's that? You're gonna have to like bleep this part. But it's like that. It's like that joke that you see going around like Twitter, oftentimes where it's like, it's like, Elon Musk slammed power door every Elon Musk van Mastro Gambit, sir masterful Gambit. Right.
Unknown Speaker 26:09
Right. So really depends on what I've realized is there's so many different fields that you can go in, but every single field is the same. So for example, if you want to be a fashion designer, you better know all the fashion designers in the business, you better know how the business runs, you better know why they do what they do, like the Met Gala. Why the? What's the new trend? What are they? What are they doing? Who's going to be part of it? What are the colors? What's the what's the, you know, and if you don't respect that specific, you know, build that space, then you're not, you know, you're not part of it. You're not You're not gonna be there, you ostracization,
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happens. ostracization. Yeah, happens. And that's
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an every, every field that I've realized, it's not only the that's, I just used the Met Gala, as an example,
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when we're talking about insider clubs, pretty much when it comes to Yeah, it's
Unknown Speaker 26:56
cool. I like it. But it's also like, it shows you how much of your life and dedication you need to put into your job in order to be successful. So
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that's what's crazy, because a job is meant to be a job. So we all do our part. And then the rest of the time we live our lives. And they want you know, people want dedication to a job. And they want people to be passionate about a work a work and the job. And only that, and at the expense of like being passionate about like life and right living outside of work workspaces like it. Yeah, there's a difference. There's like, commodifying our time, and we're only here for 100 years, right? And I
Unknown Speaker 27:42
totally get as well, when you're in, then you're putting all your focus and time in the workplace. Right? And if you
Unknown Speaker 27:49
if you love what you do, it's no, it's no shade. But right, right, like you're saying, there's just got to be, there's just got to be more like almonds. Yeah, the
Unknown Speaker 27:56
balance. Exactly. Sometimes you can't make everyone happy, you know, yeah, but the minority sometimes turns into the majority, eventually, as well. And we got to keep our ears open. And that's why businesses are constantly evolving. But going back to our topic of when, when you are in the workplace, and you're feeling tired, and you feeling rundown, there's something that needs to change in your life that will help you do better for yourself. Yeah, there's something there. And there's not really a set answer, but just know that if you are experiencing that you're definitely not alone.
Unknown Speaker 28:34
Yeah. And honestly, on the same note, like, I feel like, I feel like we would really, really transform our workspaces and our work life balances individually and collectively. If we all found ways to become more comfortable, actually airing our grievances. I
Unknown Speaker 28:55
just feel like there's not really a way to measure whose work harder, and when it comes down to it. Yes, someone could be better at a job than you that doesn't mean that they worked harder all the time. Sometimes you both worked equally as hard, but it just became it was more natural for the other person. And that's why they got promoted because they can see that hey, they did things quicker than you if
Unknown Speaker 29:19
certain if certain work behooves certain people because it comes a bit more naturally than someone else. Then obviously put that person like give that person a bit more I won't say authority but a little bit more responsibility and and put them in a position to succeed because that success right would properly manage would be better for everybody. I mean, meanwhile the other person who Yeah, is doing the work but maybe not to that immediate, higher level. still pushing is still is still
Unknown Speaker 29:49
going to do better. Thanks for watching rfl reaching out for love. Check us out. Please
Unknown Speaker 29:54
go to boss meds at Instagram.
Unknown Speaker 29:56
See you guys later.
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